Monday, December 31, 2007

2008... it'll be great!


I can't belive it's New Years eve... again... and another year is gone... again. Where does the time go?

Thinking about where I am now compared to last year... I'm a few pounds lighter, an inch or two smaller around, have decluttered people out of my life that were toxic, brought other great people in, have a wedding that's in the midst of planning... yeah, all in all not so bad.




Technorati : , , ,

Friday, December 28, 2007

interesting Friday


I've taken the last 2 days off work and it's been interesting... been able to do stuff around the house, get some shopping done, spend time with my honey, but I've been seriously unmotivated to do anything. I finally decided to walk down to the store (a few blocks away) to get a couple things, but really wanting to just curl up on the couch with the kittens and the honey and watch tv.

The good news is that I cleared out the fridge, cleaned it and am getting my shopping list ready to get myself prepped for the new year and a new me. Also getting some stuff tossed from the house - good to start with the decluttering for the New year as well. otherwise, life is pretty boring right now... we're debating about going to aparty tonight, but my honey has been going through stuff from his parents so not sure he's going to be in a social mood.




Technorati : , , ,

Wednesday, December 26, 2007

Happy Boxing Day



Yay! I survived Christmas... for the most part. Did ok on my eating, but ooh, the nummy mimosa's. Curse them and their alcoholic goodness. Mmm... and the Bailey's in the coffee.

But my honey was very good to me, got me some sparkles (no, Mar, he didn't go to Jared's... LOL!) and also got me a new scale. This one measures body fat content and hydration level. While I like the old one for just stepping on it and getting my weight, this will be nice to see the body fat % go down cuz right now... Oy! So didn't need that to make me feel like any work I do is for naught... but it *will* be nice to track my progress.

Ooh, and the happy thing is that I get to spend more time with my honey - kinda stinks he's not going to be working (ie not making money) this weekend, but glad I get to spend a little more time with him.




Technorati : , ,

Monday, December 24, 2007

Twas the day before Christmas...



And all trough the office, not a manager was stirring, not even an admin...

yeah, ok, not quite the case here, but close. I think about 10% of the population is actually working today, and I'm one of them... even one of my favorite places to have lunch is closed today, darn it... and I was going to treat my honey, too. But we went somewhere else, and while it wasn't the nummy pizza I'd wanted, we got to drown our sorrows with fallafel & hummus. Garlic is good, no matter what form. :)

So I was having a convo with a co-worker who was in the whole "I have to do *something* becuase I've gained too much weight so I joined Weight Watchers this weekend"

I just sat there quietly thinking 'hmmm..I've dumped 2# this holiday season, and I didn't have to pay anything. I owe it all to my Firecracker sisters.'

What's really interesting is that I got about 5 gifts of chocolate this year, and I haven't opened one of them - they're all being re-gifted for our white elephant exchange tomorrow.

One thing that has really helped me is really *thinking* about the various holiday treats that are all around. I have to stop myself and think "can I have this any time of the year or is it truly a holiday 'treat'?" if it's the former, I can pass. If it's the latter, I allow myself to have some. I also always have people asking me how I can have chocolate out on my desk all the time without eating it. Well, it's like over-exposure. You just don't notice it anymore. Once in a while, yes, I *have* to have something chocolatey and nummy, but not all the time.

For tonight's party and tomorrow's brunch we're going to, I have to keep in check my 2 big issues: 1) if I just randomly snack, I WILL eat too much and feel miserable. And 2) if there's a seemingly unending supply of alcohol/someone else is filling my glass & I don't pay attention, I WILL drink too much.

To avoid those traps,1) I have to make sure I have a plate of food and sit somewhere to eat it. There's something psychological about eating off a plate that makes my brain connect that it's actually having food. If I just grab something - the straight hand to mouth action - there's a disconnect that I've eaten something. But if my brain *sees* that I have a plate with a certain portion of food, it's ok. 2) I have make up my mind that I'm only going to have a certain amount of wine/beer/drinks ahead of time and be sure that *I* am the only one filling my glass. It's easy when going out for drinks that I'm buying - If I limit my drinks, I don't spend a lot of money.

These 2 traps are things I have to pay attention to throughout the year - whether it's parties at friends, or just out and about... they're things that have caused me problems along the way.




Technorati : , , , , ,

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Tis the season


To make the resolutions... or rather the affirmations and the goal setting for the next year.

Yeah, whatever.

Ok, maybe the goal for the next month... so for January I will:

1) Do 1,000 min of exercise for the month
2) Do strength training 2 times a week
3) Be consistant with my meal planning and eating with in my ranges
4) Go to bed by 10:00 to rest my body and be energized in the morning for exercise and taking on the day
5) be 185 by the January 31st, 2008.

Yeah, those are good.



Technorati : , , , ,

Monday, December 17, 2007

What I did right...


It's getting to that time where I"ve been all gung ho and working it, and now I'm tired and not seeing the fast results I want... so in an effort to not get discouraged, Here's what I've done good so far today:

1) did my Firecracker 'circuit' - lunges, pushups & crunches and then some more crunches
2) measured my cereal & milk this morning
3) wore my pedometer
4) From this weekend I had a hideous craving for fries 1that I gave into... I ordered a small instead of medium, and only ate about 1/2 the order, and only had 1/2 a soda instead of the whole can.

I'm wearing my high boots that my are about 1/2" too small at the top, and despite my working out and all, my calfs have gotten more muscular so they're still snug. erg... but thank heavens for long skirts! LOL!




Technorati : , , , ,

Thursday, December 13, 2007

It's a good thing when...


...The first thing your honey says after being gone two weeks is "you've lost a bunch of weight!" (ok, it's only a pound or two but it's nice for him to notice)

... you put on a pair of jeans fresh out of the dryer and they zip with minimal effort.

Gotta look at little things that keep you going, cuz this week has been really difficult. Been a particularly difficult TOM - to the point of bringing my heating pack in to put on my back & belly. It's completely zapped my energy and it really sucks. :(




Technorati : , , ,

Monday, December 10, 2007

It's the little things


So it's been about a month of being in this challenge and also upping my activity level and I've discovered a few things.

my clothes are fitting better
my engagement ring fit today with no effort
it's a little easier to say no to 'junk'
When I do indulge, it's easier to limit it

I've also found out my bathroom is just the right size... the distance from the vanity to the wall behind it is just right for keeping my feet stabilized for doing lunges, wall pushups and also for stretching my arms out. :)




Technorati : , , ,

Thursday, December 6, 2007

That was quick

After writing about different ways to 'measure' how things are going, I realized I had an interesting, albeit TMI signal that I was on the right track.

I have a pair of undies that are just a bit *too* small - they don't like to stay up (hates the rolling down the belly feeling! I don't think guys ever get that. ;) so I have to be sure to wear them with close fitting pants to keep them in place.

Well, I realized today as I was changing out of work clothes that I had no undie issues today, even though I was wearing *that* pair, and semi-loose pants. Doode! Guess that means that my waist & belly are finally fitting into those undies! LOL!




Technorati : , , ,

Hate that...


I've been getting too many flicks in the head from the PTB, and today's "healthy reflection" kept it coming...

"If you met yourself, would you want to stick around and talk? Are you the kind of person others can be proud of?"

There's lots of times I think I'm not someone I would want to hang out with, or be proud of... especially if I let some of the snarky people influence my thinking... I figure if they think I'm not worthy of being around, then I must not be...

Granted other times I *know* it's their loss, not mine. :)

With stuff like this week where the scale and energy level have been all over the place, it's hard to not get down on myself. But I'm working on my attitude, as always, and measuring my babysteps and successess. If I can't see progress in pounds and inches, then I look for it in ounces and centemeters.




Technorati : , , ,

Tuesday, December 4, 2007

Not that day


Ever have one of those days where you're all gung ho on getting going with stuff and doing things? Maybe all excited about working out, getting healthy, etc.

Yeah, well. today's just not one of those days. After not sleeping much, I woke up with a snuffy head and feeling all sneezy. not a good thing.




Technorati : , , , ,

Monday, December 3, 2007

Thanks for sharing...



So I get into work to find this giant box-o-cookies on my desk... I love the people I work for. The leave me pressies like this all the time. And I *really* Love the people I work *with* since I share all the pressies with them... it's almost noon and I haven't touched a cookie.

"dear God. if you can't make me skinny, make all my friends fat." LOL!




Technorati : , ,

Monday again...



Was a pretty good weekend all around. Went grocery shopping & got some food stuffs prepped for the next week or so. Ended up going fighter practice in Sierra Vista & learned a little bit. I'm sure from other people's perspective it looked like me standing there being poked with a sword *then* I'd react, but think it was pretty beneficial. And went for a nice long walk when I got home (driving an hour each way will do that)

Didn't get much done around the house so Iv'e gotta work on that this week - My honey gets home a week from today and I wanna decorate more than having the tree up so gotta do some serious cleaning/decluttering this week. Whee.




Technorati : , ,

Thursday, November 29, 2007

That explains it...









So as I was getting ready this morning and being mad at my body for not wanting to work properly, I discovered the source of my pain... there was the gentle tapping of rain on the skylight. We weren't supposed to have rain till tomorrow, but guess the weather gods decided otherwise.

I hate being so sensitive to weather changes like this... my honey & I both have the problem of knowing if there's inclimate weather before looking outside. If there's a high pressure system hitting us, I get all achey, tired, headachy, and generally cranky. So yeah... this explains a lot for this morning.



Technorati : , , ,

Blah


Was one of *those* mornings, after one of *those* nights. Went to bed early because I was seriously cranky after dealing with my car tire that didn't want to come off, then had a headache. So this morning, got up to keep my appt w/Denise (sooo dang perky that one) and managed to muddle through the aerobics, but my body was in slight FM mode - felt like my arms & legs were filled with sand and was soooo uncoordinated. So I did a lot of walking in place, but at least I did it. Will try it again tonight to see if it goes better.




Technorati : , ,

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

::yawn::


OMG didn't want to get up this morning! Was sooo hard to get to sleep - that first night when my honey is gone is difficult to get comfy, and try not to listen to every little noise. Not to mention the kitties getting extra snuggly now that it's gotten a bit colder out.

But I dragged my butt out of bed and got the first bit of cardio in for the day. Will do more when I get home, cuz not only do I need to kick it in gear in general, the Pink team is soooo gonna rule! :)

One cool thing I noticed this morning - I caught a glimpse of myself in the door of the entertainment center and went "wow. I have a waist! And its fairly defined!" yay!




Technorati : , ,

Monday, November 26, 2007

I made it through


Yay! I survived the turkey day trap and managed to maintain my weight... and even dropped a 1/2#.

The holiday was great and the weekend was very nice - got to spend a lot of time with my honey which was wonderful. Even helped him out at his presentations on Friday, making some money in the process. :) The cold front finally moved in and we had to turn the heat on by Saturday... Yeah, I'm a wimp with the cold, but oh well.

So in an update letter from my Firecracker group, one of our fearless leaders mentioned that if we shed 2# of body clutter a week, by 7/4/08 we'd be down 64#... now I don't need to lose that much, but wow! I could so stand to drop 2# a week.

So I decided that I'm done. Yes it's been nice to see small drops here and there. But I'm done with bein satisfied with whatever happens, and start making it happen.

Practice Persistence Patience - Success is sure to come

So my goal for the next 4 weeks is:
1) get a minimum of 30 min of exercise a day (one day off for rest),
2) use my plan to get walking...
3) bring my shoes & change of clothes to work so I can walk the track 1-2 times a week
4) Strength training 3x a week to get my arms in shape for rapier and the wedding
5) watch my sodium intake to keep the bloating down.
6) only 1-2 alcoholic beverages a week max. (after one beer I instantly felt bloated)

I think that works for now. :)




Technorati : , , ,

Sunday, November 18, 2007

The big and lofty goals


::giggle:: on the heels of my praise of the carb-y goodness, I need to put my goals in to writing, lest I forget about them.

I tried on my wedding dress today, which is no small feat when one has the 'assistance' of an energetic kitten. Veruca & I weren't happy. The dress is a size 16, and in the world of bridal dresses, that's a real world size of at *most* a size 14. I'm currently at about a size 16-18, depending on the clothes.

In order to zip said dress, I need to lose at least 6-7 inches around my waist in the next 6 months.

I've got a lot of work ahead of me, but I know I can do it! It's really easy to fall into the *It's too much to do in a short amount of time, I can't do it why bother?' way of thinking. And it's also really easy to think of ways of cheating, like if I get a corset it'll take about 2" off so I only need to lose 4-5"... yeah, the corset is a given because it just looks better, but I am looking at it from a bigger picture - I need to do it for me, to be healthy... *and* to look slammin' on the big day. And I need to do it for my honey, so that he can have a sax-ahy, energetic partner who isn't all 'nooo, lets sit on the couch & snuggle instead of going out and doing stuff'.

My biggest concern is keeping my hypothyroidism at bay, and not triggering the fibro-like symptoms in the process. Part of that is going to be being sure I take my vitamins & supplements on a regular basis, along with eating right, another part of that is to exercise to tolerance, not fatigue, but learning how I can push myself within that tolerance range.

I'm keeping in mind, too, that I can only control my actions, not the results. So I need to do a lot of action. Be Persistent, Be Consistent.

It's gonna be tough, but the pay offs will be great!




Technorati : , , , ,

Yay for Friday



Just my little giggle for today...

But yay it's Friday. Why is it that short weeks seem like the longest weeks e-v-a-r? eesh. Sinuses are finally starting to ease up and not hate me *quite* so much...I may do something wacky tomorrow like get up and go for a walk. *gasp* I got a spiffy new pedometer that will help with my 'plan' - it has a timer on it so I don't have to take a timer *and* my pedometer on a walk... yay. So can't wait to use it.

Went and got a hair cut last night and not sure if it's good or bad no one has commented on it - I got about 2" cut, but considering it was past my shoulder blades before, guess it's not *too* drastic... gonna color it this weekend too since it *really* needs it.

I have an appointment at Simply Dinners tomorrow - should be interesting. It's one of those go in and assemble the food to cook later kind of places. I've done similar stuff at home w/the menu mailers & freezer cooking, but I'm liking the idea of someone else doing all the pre-work for me and me just putting it together. And looking at the nutritional info, it doesn't look too bad health wise.




Technorati : , ,

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

My Plan


Anywho, I am tired of being ambiguous about the 'I'm going to do more walking'. I was reading Family Circle at lunch & there it was...a plan. (I know, there's lots of them, but this is the one I saw & liked.)

So I shall be doing my 3-2-1 plan
3 - days a week, do 30-60 min of purposeful walking
2 - days a week do 25-45 min of high intenstity walking
1 - day a week do at least a 90-minute walk (focus on time not speed)

Here's my schedule:

Monday: purposeful walking
Tues: high intensity
Wed: purposeful walking
Thurs: high intensity
Fri: purposeful walking
Sat/Sun: Long walk

So there... I like having a schedule s it can be more like "it's tuesday so I"m doing X."




Technorati : , , ,

Mostly human again


Gotta love the sleep...helps with restoring and getting one back to feeling semi-human again. Still need one more good night's sleep, and since the Honey is back to his travels, I can actually get to bed at a decent hour tonight (she says hopefully). And the darn kittens sleepin' me this morning, I missed my appt with that perky Denise... Sadly, I really *did* miss it... was looking forward to the hopping around clumsily, and 'burnin' that butter' LOL!




Technorati : , , ,

Monday, November 12, 2007

I lives


I survived the weekend... and had a pretty good time in the process. But OMG the heard of Drama Llama's that were unleashed at war in Feb. are still running rampant... the running joke in camp was 'hmm... wonder if those are good eatin's?' Despite it all, fun was had, but I think I've had enough hot dogs to last me a loooong while, not to mention having really sore legs from all the walking.

Got home last night, bestowed pettin's on the kittens, headed to the shower and then to bed... Feeling a little more human today, and was wonderful to sleep in a nice warm bed, but think I still need another shower. LOL!




Technorati : , ,

Tuesday, November 6, 2007

::flick::


again with the PTB flicks to the head... from yesterday's Healthy Reflection:

"If you spend too much time working on your weaknesses, all you end up with is a lot of strong weaknesses. - Dan Sullivan, business coach

Playing to your strengths

It's tempting isn't it? It's so much easier to see what's wrong with yourself and your life than to take advantage of what's right. The problem is, too much focus on the negative can affect your attitude and opinion of yourself. It's a quick road to burnout. While it's important to pay attention to things you can improve, your best bet for a breakthrough lies in maximizing what you're already good at. The secret is to use those strengths to help boost yourself up where you need the help. What are your major talents? What do you have a special knack for? Set specific goals to improve those talents and don't fret as much about your weak spots. They'll get the extra help they need as you climb higher. "

Totally hits home... Was just thinking about those times when I feel like a total fake - someone complements me or gives me credit and I think "boy, got you fooled"... or I had my cousin once comment to me that "I like your life... I wanna have that when I grow up." I felt like she couldn't possibly want that because omg if she knew the *real* me, she would probably hate me.

But then again, that's the life we live in our own heads, and it's real to us, but that's not how others see us... how nice would it be to think of *ourselves* the way other people see us?! (all the good stuff, of course!) Why is it so hard to transition from beating ourselves up, to _building_ ourselves up? Part of FLYing is learning to love yourself the way you *are*, and appreciating and recognizing the good that you are and do. Time for me, at least, to start looking at that more often.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

In other news I figured out (I think) the reason for my hands going nuts and breaking out/drying out like they have been... I've been focusing on keeping my water intake high and sodium level low... well, elecrolites and what not are getting out of wack. Duh. So gonna make myself the DIY sport drink - take a spoonful of drink mix, add a bit of salt, mix with water. *poof* instant sports drink.




Technorati : , ,

Monday, November 5, 2007

Whee for Monday


OMG my sinuses hurt...

Was a fun weekend - long and tiring, but a good time was had by all... was soooo glad my honey made it back in time for the Laureling and is great to have him home, even if it's for a short-ish time.

Managed to get my butt out of bed and do some exercise, then have piles-o-stuff to do today & tomorrow as I'm off the rest of the week. Blah!

ok, guess I gets to it then.



Technorati : , , ,

Friday, November 2, 2007

::yawn:: it's Friday


And the garb is about 80% done... that last 20% isn't a lot, but it's more time consuming... I was at my friends till about 12:30 and got home around 1-ish... OMG tired, and the day's not over yet. Problem is my body's going "either sleep or give us fuel" and my co-worker came around with a menu to order something in... I'm channeling my inner Hobbit and having 2nd breakfast.

My plan for tonight is 1) possibly leave work early (around 3) to get a nap in, 2) straighten the house a bit for when my honey gets home tomorrow 3) go for a walk down the block again... need to get my legs used to walking on uneven terrain for next week *and* work off 2nd breakfast, 4) finish off the honey's pants so he can wear them Sunday 5) go to the vigil 6) meet my friend for a drinky poo 7) go home and crash so I can start it over again.




Technorati : , ,

Thursday, November 1, 2007

Owch in another way...


Stoopid PTB, and their incessant flicking in my head. Read the "going through the emotions" article in the wellness section and got flicked. This part really stood out:

"You can be the hammer, making things happen, or you can be the nail that sits there and gets pummeled over and over. "

Then the community highlight email with this:
"It's been 4 months now... and I've lost just over 40lbs. Still a long way to go, but for the first time I feel calm and in control of my dieting strategy. I wake up every morning and plan my meals. Yes it means I have to wake up earlier than before, but when I weigh the 2 options against themselves it goes something like this...

Option 1: Miss out on 30 minutes of sleep
Option 2: Get heckled in the street by strangers

Option 1 always wins. Always. "

I (and other people) always make things filled with shades of grey, but really, there's just black and white: Do it or don't. Anything in between is the grey area of excuses.

It's all a matter of stopping the squirlly behavior, stopping the indecision, and making up my mind to do it or don't.

Scary thing is this applies to a few things in my life right now...

Heh... It's Hammer Time! :)




Technorati : , , ,

Monday, October 29, 2007

Frustrated


I'm really getting sick of this gaining & losing the same 2-3 pounds every week/weekend. This weekend I didn't eat too badly and even did my workout on Saturday yet the scale still went up. It's just frustrating and annoying.

I mean, am I destined to only be able to eat certain things and that's it? And the minute I add in a little bit of variety will mean instant weight gain? Arg. Yes there's a little bit of comfort in knowing key foods that help with the loss, but if that's *IT* for the rest of my life, it's so not worth it.

I'm hoping this particular jump is because of the chinese food last night and is water retention... but still. It's going to be a long hard battle and I'm not sure I'm really up to it, not to mention feeling really grumpy today. I didn't sleep well at all last night, didn't get up to exercise today, and just feeling kinda cruddy... have the same wound but tired feeling that I've had for the last couple weeks and it's not going away. Normally it'd be good, but it's not productive at all. More like I'm exhausted but the brain and the body aren't quite ready to collapse yet.

Ok, this is me just whining... need to get over it and move on.




Technorati : , ,

Friday, October 26, 2007

Friday!



This is about how I felt when I stepped on the scale this morning. It dropped yesterday but this morning was back up again, even though I ate really well yesterday, kept moving when I got home, etc... *sigh* this is why the process is so frustrating...

BUT I looked at it as a challenge and had my appointment with Denise that about kicked my butt... Intervals?! Hello! I'm fat & this is killin' me! Fine... I'll do it but I won't like it. So hopefully it'll kick the scale back down a few notches, but I'm sooo looking forward to sleeping in tomorrow!




Technorati : , ,

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

::yawn::



Feeling a lot better today... went home, had dinner, did minimal stuff around the house, watched Henry V (*sigh* so want the clothes) and pretty much passed out by 9. Still coulda used more sleep, BUT I managed to drag my sorry butt out of bed to do the workout thingy I'd recorded. OMG I'm outta shape! I did the 10 min of warm up/cardio, and didn't go overboard on that, but was pooped... I did a little bit of the ab stuff, and even that was a struggle. ::giggle:: but I forget how much fun it is to exercise around cats... especially kittens. At least I didn't kick them, but almost rolled over on one of them while he was playing with my shoe lace, then the string on my pants. silly kittens.

THe good news is 1) I did it! and 2) I'm looking at it like a challange- instead of 'I'm too out of shape and can't do it so why bother', it's more like 'I'm sooo not gonna let a silly thing like a sit up defeat me'. So there!

Besides, after stepping on the scale this morning, not exercising is *not* an option... need to get it back down into one-derland again and keep it moving down.




Technorati : , ,

Monday, October 22, 2007

Monday Again...



As part of the changing of attitudes, I'm *not* going to say the low weigh in on Friday was short lived. I *am* going to say that the small rise in numbers on the scale is... yeah, it was an over indulgent weekend (I mean really, who *needs* 4 rum & cokes?! Well, apparently me, but still...) but I'm over it.

These next few weeks are gonna be me as the mad sewin'/exercisin'/cleanin' fool. Just not today.

Had to drop the Honey off at the airport this morning. We'd stayed in Phoenix Sat & Sun (heh... got flirted with by the Pres of the SCA... go me). Had to get up around 3:30 this morning to be out and at the airport by 4:30 and for me to head home... getting up that early pretty much guarantee's insomina will hit. And it did. I got about 2 hours of sleep and had to drive about 1.5 hours after that in the super high winds.

I'm wiped. I ended up calling work and letting them know I'd be in around 10 and promptly fell asleep...the kitten sleepy mojo helped alot. LOL! Feeling slightly more human-winds not helping the allergies at all- but it's gonna be an early night, I can tell.

But tomorrow will find me well rested and popping out of bed to join Denise Austin for a round of aerobics on the beach. :) Heck, I may even try out some exercises on my new stability ball tonight... I know, that's just crazy talk, but it could totally happen. :)




Technorati : , ,

Friday, October 19, 2007

Danger, Will Robinson!(tm)



Ya know... I knew it would happen, I worried it would happen, then I slipped down that slope going "how did that happen?"

But it's not *too* bad... yet.

Basically my brain (most likely was Veruca) went, 'It's Friday! I'm excited about the low numbers on the scale! Cool! now we can ease up/goof off! Oh! And the honey is home so we can eat nummy (aka bad) food with him!'

And it's been a constant battle all day. I did stop by the bakery to get some nummy pasteries for breakfast tomorrow, and some cookies which I promptly gave away. And the plan is - whatever is left over of the pasteries goes with him on his trip or into work to be given away on Monday.

Then we went to Rocco's for lunch - had the salad/slice lunch deal and we split the slice, so that's not *horrible*, and even though I wanted a cookie, I didn't get one... And needed coffee, but resisted adding an extra flavored creamer...

Think the problem is I'm feeling all satisfied/full from lunch and feeling like 'oh well, there goes the heathly eating and the drop in the scale... yadayadayada...' Basically beating myself up for no reason.

So I'm forgiving myself the indulgence; I didn't over do it and was able to enjoy the time with my honey. The downward trend WILL continue, so I'm puttin' my big girl panties and dealing with it.




Technorati : ,

Doode!


That was a surprise... stepped on the scale this morning and had to check ... 3 times. It hesitated at 198.5... then settled... on 198.0! ::happy dance::

Although, *I* am hesitant to record it as my weigh in weight... I feel like I haven't earned it or that if I do, it won't last. But then again, I *have* earned it... I've been changing my eating habits, I've been mindful of what I fuel my body with, no I haven't been moving much, but darn it all... I *do* deserve it. And the only thing that's between me and the scale continuing to go down is, well, me. And at this point, NOT getting to and staying at 150, and NOT getting into that dress is NOT an option (thanks for that, Patti!)

To reward myself, I started recording the Denise Austin work out thingies on Lifetime... I lubs the TiVo... starting Tuesday, I'm gonna do my darndest to make it through those workouts!

So I get to hang out at home, enjoy my smoothie & coffee.. hmmm... maybe the next experiment is to make a coffee smoothie... and then head over to the office.

Oooh, and ::happy dance:: my honey comes home today! Granted he leaves again on Monday for 2 weeks, but yay!!! home today!




Technorati : , , ,

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Eeeks!


Ok, so I've got this wedding dress to fit into... and I realized that I've only got 33-ish weeks before the wedding! *breathing* So if I can average about 1# a week, that'll put me at about 167. Wow! How cool with that be!?

Guess this means I need to start stepping up the activity/ exercising... especially since the scale is back up a little again - I blame the beer and the hot bath. both were required after the day I had yesterday.




Technorati : , ,

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

How did that happen?


So... was a little overboard on food yesterday, but then the scale settled firmly on 199.5. o_O ok... guess it *was* a good thing to only have cereal last night. Not gonna be too excited about it till I'm at 199.0 or, even better 198.5. but still... yay! I'm gettin' there! :)

Woke up with monster headache, dealing with annoying work type stuff. Making me all cranky & emo, and wanting to have not so good for me stuff. Had the passing thought of 'wish life wasn't so challenging when I'm trying to get my health/nutrition in order'... well, ya know what? Life *is* challenging and there will always be something to throw a wrench in your plans. Like the Chinese curse: "May you live in interesting times."

If life was all tra-la-la happy all the time, imagine how hard it would be to deal with a small disruption like stubbing your toe. OMG it'd be the end of the world. I still remember a quote by a NSD for Mary Kay: The strength of the woman shows in the size of the problem it takes to stop her. Is it getting cancer? Is it a parent dying? Is it a sick child? Is it the cat throwing up? Seems silly to have that last thing in with "big" stuff, but it's all the same if that's all it takes to stop you from reaching your goals.




Technorati : , , ,

Monday, October 15, 2007

I is bad...



I actually brought my lunch today, but then realized it'd been in the fridge for over a week, and was kinda scary-not to mention unappetizing. I decided to go get a burrito after my errand at the post office, and came back to the office to find my desk looking like a greeting card exploded on it. Gotta love my co-workers... so much for keeping things low key, eh? Giggle... while I fine that no one had said anything this morning, it's nice that they remembered. :)

So yeah, had big burrito for lunch that has totally blown my calories & what not, I'm gonna have a bit-o-cake to add on to it. Oh well, I'm cutting it, so I can make my piece tiny and give the rest away... mwaahahaha... :)




Technorati : , ,

Sunday, October 14, 2007

happy day to me...


Has been a good day so far... I managed to sleep in a little, too, despite the Honey's alarm going off at 6 am o_O. I talked to him a bit at that point then, despite the kittens protests, I fell back asleep.

The weather has been beeeuuutiful, and it's been a wonderful low key day (except for the trip to costco... what *was* I thinking?!) While I wish my honey was here to enjoy it with me, it's sorta nice to have this time by myself, ya know? Still want to do a little around the house but think I"m gonna take time to read and then maybe journal a little... was thinking of writing myself a note for next year saying how proud I am of myself for the stuff I"m going to accomplish. It's easy to focus on where I am and how far I have to go on many things, but it's good to look at the positive steps I've taken no matter what. :)


~*~*~*~*~*~*~


Update: figured out how to actually send an email to myself at a future date... you can do an e-card through Hallmark or one of those and set the delivery date to whenever you want. And there's a site futureme.org that you can type up the email and have it sent up to 12/31/2036... so I"m gonna write myself a letter! I think I'll use both hallmark.com and futureme.org just in case one of them is down for whatever reason. :)




Technorati : , , , , ,

Saturday, October 13, 2007

Welcome to the weekend...


*sigh* house is so quiet now... The honey is gone for the week, and shortly after he left for the airport I got a call from him saying he's probably going to be gone for 3 weeks. :/ He'll be home for about 2 days in that time frame. *sigh* Is good and bad, and not sure how I feel about it right now. after being part of a live-in couple for the last year+, it's gonna be interesting readjusting to the almost single living.

Anywho, had nummy dinner last night. Went to Shish Kabab House and had what I refered to as the Lebanese fajita. was sooo nummy, along with the hummus. *sigh* there was a belly dancer too (Thought of you, Patti!) who's been dancing there for quite a while. She's good - some how manages to dance around a small space and not hit people with her veil or her jingles. LOL!

Went to breakfast with friends this morning and then going to an Italian night thingy tonight.

Not sure what I"m gonna do tomorrow for my b-day but it'll be low key. And in the mean time, think I'll go take a nap. Very sore from walking around yesterday at the home show - not used to the walking for one, and then on concrete floors. ow.




Technorati : , , ,

Friday, October 12, 2007

Yay for Friday!


I made it... and the scale toyed with 199.5 for a few moments before it settled back on 200, but YAY! Hadn't seen a 1 in front of my weight in quite a while... and I recorded all my food yesterday and had to do a triple take. I was within _all_ of my ranges! How did that happen?!

So I celebrate... with a brownie. ::head desk:: is a tiny one (less than a 2" square), homemade with ooey gooey caramel... and it's for one of the co-workers going away thingy.

Hi, My name is Cleo... short for Cleopatra, Queen of De-Nial. LOL!

Planning on doing lots of walking this afternoon at the home show and having lunch at home so is a small indulgence. :)




Technorati : , , ,

Thursday, October 11, 2007

The Dread Captian White Russian












ooh, my honey is the bestest... met me at the door with a nummy (potent!) drink last night, let me vent all over the place about my frustrating day, made dinner, and was an all around sweetie.

Only thing was me being totally insecure last night... we were getting... 'snuggly' and I just kept feeling and seeing the mounds of fat all over the place and felt all icky. Like "why would he even find me *remotely* attractive?!" I don't get it. I appreciate it, but don't get it. While it did make me want to curl up and do the whole "don't touch my hideousness", I also felt more determined to get myself in shape so I don't feel like I'd crush him or like a beached whale.

A lady in one of my teams has the best signature line: My body is too sexy to be covered by all this fat



Technorati : ,

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Ugh


So I caved last night... sort of. We were out shopping, I was hungry, my honey was using my b-day as a "I want to take you out and do special stuff since I won't be here for your b-day" opportunity. So we went to claim jumper. ::hangs head:: There is *nothing* tiny in that place! Andy they don't have nutritional info available, probably because they don't want people to see how badly they're *really* eating! LOL!!! Heck, even though we sat in a 'small' 2-person booth (by their standards), it was actually a normal resturaunt sized booth.

I actually didn't do horribly. I didn't get a nummy beverage that I wanted, and I opted for the chicken quesadilla appetizer and had 1/2 of it, but then he got Mud Pie for dessert (complete with candles). 75% of it is still in the freezer, but OMG nummy.

So all in all I guess it wasn't *too* bad, but since it takes about a day for things to show up on the scale, I need to be dilligent today. I sooo wanna at least see Onderland by my b-day on Sunday. And guess I need to have a little sit down with the honey to explain why it's important to *me* to stay on track and while occasional indulgences are ok, right now isn't the best timing.




Technorati : , , ,

Tuesday, October 9, 2007

Better!


Feeling lots better today... basically told myself that I was going to be more rested, refreshed and energetic today than yesterday. I'm sure the nummy dinner and bath helped, too.

I think the healthy-ish habits are kicking in, too... I had a momentary panic this morning getting my lunch ready and realized I had no fresh fruit. Eeks! what will I have for snackies?! (this is amid other stuff like pretzels, chips, chocolate... go me) Then I remembered the watermelon that I had and needed to be eaten... so brought it in to work, cut about 1/4 of it for myself and put the rest out for whomever... It's quite tasty too.




Technorati : , ,

Sunday, October 7, 2007

Sunday!


Well, I made it through my Friend's wedding mostly ok. I did have 2 beers (they had the decency to have guinness available, I didn't want to be rude! LOL!) and only had 2 bites of cake (OMG... they had the HUGE claim jumper chocolate cake for their wedding cake! That thing is so rich to begin with I couldn't really handle more than 2 bites, so I brought the rest home for my honey.) And I got lots of exercise avoiding my ex, ironcially by spending time with the other ex. LOL!

I weighed in today at 201.5, so all thing considered not too bad - would be a 3# gain if I hadn't been paying attention.

My honey took me to breakfast this morning to do an early celebration for my b-day since he won't be in town for it... was sweet but annoying: he had the waitress bring out a cinnamon roll with a candle in it. *sigh* it was tasty and he had more than 1/2 of it so wasn't too horrible of an indulgence. Then we went to Costco to sign up for the membership... as a bonus for that we got coupons for money off the salad mix stuff and a free rotisarrie chicken... guess what I had for lunch! NUM!!!

Ready to take a nap. I had to have a mini 'physical' done for our insurance policy (long story) and my blood pressure was 102/60. OMG no wonder I'm so tired!




Technorati : , , , , ,

Friday, October 5, 2007

Just a quick weigh in...


Sort of.

I decided that I want to start having my weigh in days be Monday to keep me on track through the weekend... but considering I'm just starting out, and this weekend is already going to be a challenge, I'm going cut myself a bit-o-slack and weigh in today:

10/1/07 SW: 203.5
10/5/07 CW: 200.0

::does happy dance::

And that was a 'solid' weight... no fluctuations on the scale.

Had a little talk with Veruca this morning and we both agreed that it was reason to celebrate, but not by eating everything in site... that we celebrate our journey to hotness by keeping on track and maybe treating ourselves to a nice walk this weekend.




Technorati : , ,

Apparently I did pass...


So after all the stuff yesterday, eating out at lunch and then having the unplanned eating out last (got a call from a friend who was in town so we opted to go have drinks & dinner with him) I *still* saw a drop in the scale. A really good drop! So either it's my body freaking out or I'm really on the right track... I'm choosing option B. :)

Was proud of myself last night - went to village inn, and I got a salad instead of fries and had the grilled chicken portobello sandwich and only had 1/2 the bun it came on. VI is not my favorite place at all, but the meal was actually tasty. And I only had about 1/2-3/4 of my drink and gave the rest to my honey. Needed it, but decided to enjoy a little and give the rest away.

Tonight, however, I'm planning on going to happy hour, and just got notice that other friends who are back in town briefly, all want to get together and go to IHOP for dinner... ::grumble:: I know I can't shut myself off from stuff like this forever, but OMG does it all have to hit at once?!

must spend a few minutes thinking about my game plan before making decisions.




Technorati : , ,

Thursday, October 4, 2007

Did I pass the test yet?!


Oy! What a challenging day... lunch went ok - I stuck with my plan of what i was going to eat and feel pretty good... still haven't finished my snackies but that's ok since I'm over on my calories for the day anyway. But then I got a call that they needed even *more* loan documentation and I had an internal fit worrying that they're going to say "ummm... nevermind" with the refinancing. If that's the case, we're SOL.

Lots of phone tag ensued.

All this time I'm looking at the popcorn ball one of my boss folks brought me thinking "OMG want it!" but haven't given in... luckily my Honey stopped by to get the documents needed and I gave it to him. Only to find some almond M & M's sitting on my desk. WTF!?!

High stress/emo + lots of not so good snackies = BIG TEST... erg... am I passing yet?

Trying to remind Vercua that stress burns more calories than ice cream... she's not entirely convinced. :/




Technorati : , , ,

Wednesday, October 3, 2007

Cuz *I* deserve it!


Had an interesting morning... It's Cranky Wednesday(tm) and my Inner Brat, Veruca, decided to show up. I didn't get much sleep last night so extra tired today, and while getting myself, breakfast and lunch ready I was thinking about this weekend and the whole "gee, hope I don't blow it" popped into my head. And then Veruca chimed in with things like "I'm tired of measuring the amount of cream we put in the coffee... and sheesh... weighing the turkey for the sammich? Such a pain... why do we have to do this?! Ooh, maybe we can have some ice cream for dessert tonight! We've been good, we deserve it!"

I had a momentary lapse and it really seemed like a good idea... then I realized that it's only my 3rd day into this venture and I was going to cave already?!?!

I don't think so.

I started to think about what I *really* deserve, and what that means... I could go into the whole Manifest Destiny thing and how this country was created by people who felt the 'deserved' everything they saw, no matter what.... but I won't.

But I did look up what "deserve" means: Merit, be worthy of, ought to have, earn, warrant, justify. Talk about contradictory meanings!

I do know that I do deserve to be strong of body, mind and spirit. I deserve to be healthy. I deserve to have a long, full life. I deserve to put healthy, nutritious fuel into my body. My honey deserves to have a happy, healthy, sexy partner, and *I* DESERVE to be that person...not to mention I deserve to look hot in my wedding dress in 8 months.

Veruca liked that last bit. And even suggested that we work really hard toward that last goal so maybe we can go shopping because the dress we have will be too big... I can totally get on board with that. :)




Technorati : , , , , ,

Sunday, September 30, 2007

My thought for today...


Decided to start re-reading Body Clutter last night and started with the chapter on excuses. Interestingly, this is as far as I got the last time I read it. Go fig... I think it stopped me because I wasn't able to get beyond my own excuses, even though I'd done a lot of hard looking and thinking on it. But it was definitely what I needed to read last night.

In the chapter, they look at several 'popular' excuses - lies we tell ourselves to justify keeping ourselves where we are and not changing. There was one statement that really struck me, and it was under the excuse, "I am happy with me just the way I am"...

the statement was: "It is not a happy person who mistreats the _only_ body she has by not eating well."

Well, how's that for a slap of reality in the face? It really hit home, especially after I had just gotten home from a party and caught myself mindlessly snacking on chips because they were in close proximity... I even said to myself "Why am I eating these? they're not even that great." But yet I continued to snag a few at a time through out the evening.

Definitely something to keep in mind as I make choices through out the days, weeks, years. Is the food I'm eating worthy of the *only* body I have? I mean, yeah, I'd love to trade it in for a new one, but this is the only body I will have... and how good of care am I taking of it?




Technorati : , , , ,

Friday, September 21, 2007

Stepping out on faith


Using some FlyLady terminology, I need to step out of my own head, out of my own way, and ask for some help from the PTB to reach my goals.

Finally put a little bit of thought into my goals and what I *really* want... I REALLY want to be out of debt. I have about $20K of debt looming over me, and a lot of it's been hanging around for a while. I did a bit of posting about it and it think it's do-able. It's a little generic and an overall plan, and I need to spend time thinking of how to break it down into day to day baby steps.

now I need to do that for my weight goals. Those I'm good at babystepping, and I generally know what to do, but think it's time to make a concrete plan. I need to do this for my health, yadayaddayadda... but my inner brat wants to look hot in her pretty dress for the weddin', ya know. ;)

So here's my 5 babystepping goals for October:
1) Monday-Friday use the SP meal suggestion list for breakfast, lunch and snacks
2) S-Th cook dinner at home using the Body Clutter MM (basically any night I'd be going to work the next day
3) Cook dinner at home at least once on the weekend.
4) M-F track food on SP
5) Read an encouraging/inspiring email/story whatever.

I feel like I'm going back to stage 1, but maybe that's not such a bad idea... I'm focusing on the food aspect first because it's something I've already got routines semi-established, and it's something that's do-able right now. I'll add exercise in where I can, but for now, this is better. :)

the faith part comes from letting go of the worry that I'm not going to have enough to eat. That is just silly because it's not true. I need to come to terms with giving myself *enough*, not *more* than enough.

UPDATE: so I offically changed myself back to Stage 1. It's not a step back, it's actually a step forward becuse I'm re-teaching myself the habits that i need to succeed and be healthy.




Technorati : , , , ,

Yay for Friday!



Yep... I is carrying lots of *somethin* in my belly region.

Things are going a little better at home... mom has *sort of* settled down and I've basically resigned to the fact that I'm a total weenie... I'm thirtymumblemuble and can't have a heart to heart with my mother. I'm having the feeling that she likes the *idea* of my honey, and me being happy and us getting married, but she doesn't like the reality of it. ::shrug:: not sure what to do about it.

One thing that always happens about this point in their visit: I renew my goals and my determination for getting healthy and losing weight. We eat out a lot, there's always junk around, and I don't do much in general. the result: feeling and getting even more fluffy. :P no like that.

So I remind myself of what I *really* want (from back on the 13th):

Note to self and Veruca:

Remember!

You really want a clutter free home

Remember!

You really want to weigh 155!

Remember!

You really want to be positive and full of energy!

(and a new addition) Remember!

You want to be debt free in 2-3 years!




Technorati : , , , , ,

Just a quicky...


So we got the Mr-less Muggins home last night. Poor guy was all sorts of tired and sore. Watching him walk around with his shaved butt and swolled bits was pitiful, but highly amusing, of course. Not gonna take a picture of it to post... was tempted, but not gonna do it. :P He took a good nap while the 'rents & I were at dinner and seemed to perk up after that - had food & water and was fairly playful, and was extra snuggy last night. Sorta like "I sorry for whatever I did that made you punish me like that.. I not do again, k? thx bai." Missy's been hissing at him but I'm sure he smells funny, so she should get over it soon-ish.


Yeah... so mom & dad's visit is going... dad's totally enjoying the weather and taking long bike rides... mom is... well. mom. nuf said. I'm at the point in the visit, though, where I'm back on the 'omg need to get back on healthy lifestyle track again'... lots of sweets, lots of eating out, lots of stress, lots of not doing much. Takin' it's toll... and I'm getting too old - starting to have acidy tummy issues from eating out too much. :P I'm sure the tummy issues are also stemming from the stress of dealing with mom. erg. Yes. I'm a total weenie, thanks. Maybe I'll get over it one of these days.


So, couple of plans ruminating in my brain... it's part of the 'discipline is remembering what you *really* want... and I *really* want 1) to weigh at least 30-40# less in the next 8 months, and 2) be debt free in the next 2-3 years...


For the first one... have some general outlines but haven't formulated any sort of concrete plan... that will come later.


For the 2nd one, here's my thinkin:


1) After signing all the re-fi docs and stuff, call broker to cash out one of my accounts. that'll give me $$ to pay off one card totally, pay off my medical bill and re-pay N for the closing costs. Any extra goes in to wedding fund.


2) Keep chipping away at the one card till the '08 taxes come in. Any refund goes to paying that one off. '07 refund goes to paying for the wedding/honeymoon.


3) Ditto for the next couple years tax refunds - goes to paying down the cards... In theory, should be done with the debt in about 3 years. ::fingers crossed::


Thursday, September 13, 2007

A PTB Flick in the head


I have been so frustrated lately... feeling really lumpy, like all the fat is literally *hanging* on me... ya know, in that Disney's Ursula the Sea Witch kind of way - all roll-y & undulating... bleh. And then frustrated because I haven't gone for my walks at lunch either because something else was going on or I chose not to. erg...

then I got this in my email from Bractfactor.com: "Discipline
is remembering what you really want! So, as you start to
step over the shoes in the hall, remember you really
want a clutter free home. As you go down the cookie isle
at the grocery store remember sugar is not good for you
and you really want to lose that weight. When you start
to complain remember you really want to be positive."

::grumble:: fine...

Note to self and Veruca:

Remember!

You really want a clutter free home

Remember!

You really want to weigh 155!

Remember!

You really want to be positive and full of energy!




Technorati : , , ,

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

Changes


I've gotten a couple of 'daily meditation' type things today and they've all related to change: Change is normal, change is good. Yes it can be stressful, but this too will pass, you'll make it through, etc.


It's interesting to get these things today. It's a day when, 6 years ago, our little world changed. Our concept of home, of safety, of security, crashed to the ground with 3 planes and 2.5 buildings.


But today, I feel that this too has passed. Granted I don't watch/read/listen to the news so I don't know if it was discussed at all, but I looked at the calendar, and today is just another number in a box on the calendar. No 'Patriot's Day' or whatever it was being called, no marker of a violent, turbulent time that happened. Meetings were scheduled for today with no more than a passing thought of, "oh... Sept. 11th.... ::send::" My parents are coming for a visit and there was a fleeting 'whew, they're not traveling on the 11th' then I forgot about it.


We've made it through, and this too has passed. We had life completely disrupted, it was uncomfortable for a while, but we adapted, and got comfortable again. No, we haven't completely forgotten, but it's a little further back in our memories, shuffled there because we have to deal with the here and now; dealing with the petty things that make life aggravating, or the small moments that make us smile.


I had one of the latter moments this morning. N and I took some time to remember our lives in that moment in time. Remember those that were lost that day and after, those that were involved, that were touched. We also took a moment to think of those that are continuing the fight against those that oppress us and others, even though most days it's hard to remember what they're fighting for. We also were reminded of what truly matters and is important. It made me happy to be where I was, and grateful for the wonderful people in my life that are my friends and family, and very grateful I found a man to share my life with. When things go wrong in my life, when there's issues that come up from other people, it's so easy to get self absorbed and focus on that and hold onto the anger, bad feelings, whatever. I harbour my own resentments, angst, grudges, etc. In general it's not healthy, but it's also not important. I think it's interesting that Rosh Hashanah begins tomorrow. No, not Jewish, but it's a time of letting go, releasing your sins and self examination. Am I living *my* best life? Not what or how someone else thinks I should be living my life, but is it best for *me*? Over the past year, I think I've grown a lot in respects to that... starting to live *my* life instead of the life I think other people think I should be living, and letting go of that perception. It's hard to let go of, but is for the greater good.


The best email I got was from FlyLady this morning, and I think it sums it up very well. It's not about the American Patriotic verve, but more about the human spirit...


"Dear Friends,

Today is not just about the United States memorizing the people who
died in the attacks of September 11th. Everyone around the world has
been hurt by those senseless acts terrorism, other terrorist activity
and even the threat of terrorism.

I for one will not allow those bad people to change the way I live
each day. I am thankful for the men and women around the world who
keep a vigilant eye on our safety: First Responders, Fire Fighters,
Police Officers, Airport Security Screeners and the military personal
serving their countries. It is not just these people who need our
appreciation. It is all of us. Each of us walk though our lives with
air of alertness now.

We can be watchful without living in fear. The name terrorist is
synonymous with putting fear into hearts. Fear is the opposite of
love. I believe this with all my heart. Today as our own special
memorial I would like for you to spread a little love around your part
of this great big world. We like to call it Paying It Forward. If you
have not watched this movie then rent it. It has a powerful message.
If you have the movie, watch it again.

Small random acts of kindness are more powerful than evil. We can
change the world with these simple actions of love. Actions speak
louder than words. Today there will be speeches by many people in the
public eye giving thanks to the heroes of September 11th Tragedies. We
should not forget these folks but the best memorial we can give to
them is a loving action done from the goodness of our hearts. "


Friday, September 7, 2007

My little a-ha moment



Had lots of stuff hit me all at once , and the realizations aren't quite fully formed but I had the 'oh yeah... duh' moments.

One of those is that I've been feeling fat. Ok, that's not so enlightening, but it hit me that it's because I *am* fat... not in the degrating/berating way. Just in the matter of fact, look at the BMI and regular scale and it's obvious way. I've gained some weight, and I've been feeling every ounce of it, and it's really not good. Get winded easier because I haven't been exercising consistantly and am carrying around at least 50# more than I should be. And my clothes aren't fitting well, so it makes me feel even huge-er and unattractive...

Then the 2nd realization hit me... I'd been ruminating about how, when you're in a good mood & life is going pretty good, it's a lot easier to do things that are beneficial for yourself - exercising, eating right, cleaning house, being social - it's almost like the planets are in the most productive allignment and all is good with the world. Then IT happens... not sure what IT is, but it's like juggling 10 balls, and all of a sudden one of them falls out of sync and everything comes crashing down. And then every little thing becomes _so hard_. It's a struggle to get out of bed, let alone fold laundry, go for a walk, go grocery shopping.

Then I got IT... It's not because things all of a sudden become difficult. They're the same activities that they were before. It's the perception that changed. One thing went out of wack, the happy shiney bubble burst and the blahs set it. Once that happens, the perception of the activities changes from 'tralala it needs to be done so no big' to 'OMG this is a CHORE!' Our internal dialog changes accordingly, too.

Instead of 'wow, I feel good when I walk, lets do it again!' or "look how pretty the living room is when I straighten it!" or... you get the idea... we're now telling ourselves "this place is a mess! Gad I hate it! I *have* to clean it!" or "I am sooo fat! I have to get my butt in gear and work out." Not only are we knocking ourselves down, we're also making the activity a punishment.

o_O Wow...

As a long time FlyBaby, I'm constantly reading "if it isn't _fun_, it won't get done"... if you make doing the dishes a punishment, of course your going to procrastinate and loathe doing them. If exercise is a punishment, why would you spring out of bed to do it?!

Since identifying the problem is half the battle, that was the easy part. Now comes the interesting challenge of finding the fun me again. I know she's in there, just gotta find her and have her come out to play. :)




Technorati : , , , ,

Thursday, August 16, 2007

I declare...


Today is Go Home, Have Chocolate, Ice Cream, Beer, and Snuggle With Kittens Day.


Erg... and it's only 9:30.


Monday, August 13, 2007

Thoughts for the day...


Again with the PTB flicking me in the head... I was watching "Finding Nemo" last night, and realized that I'm totally Marlin, the dad fish that is so consumed with the what if's and the worst case scenarios that he can't just let go and have fun with life.


Then I got these in various emails today:


"IT DOES NOT MATTER IF TODAY'S RESULTS DO NOT SHOW, THEY WILL IN TIME."


"Do not let fear control what you do (or don't) do? While taking risks can be scary, doing nothing is a big mistake, as it produces nothing fruitful within you."


Yeah... it's the shutting down, doing nothing and letting the fear take over, instead of taking over the fear and moving on that's been really keeping me where I am. There's some things in my life that are going great, but other things - my weight, my house, general habits, my mood - that I'm holding myself back.


Sunday, August 12, 2007

TCT Update August 12th 2007


Dearest Friend's I want to invite you to the GRAND OPENING of
The Captains Trunk supplier of arms and armor for the re-en actor and recreatonist.


WE NOW ACCEPT ALL MAJOR CREDIT CARDS!!!
I would like to take this opportunity to let you know what we have been up to
these last two weeks!


Be sure to check the site often, as we just added our NEW Nautical Boxes, section,
Along with The Captains Favorites, and One of a Kind Collectors Pieces


Our armor catalog contains pieces ranging from the ancient Greek through to
the World War II era, and all points in between. Geographically it will be covering
Europe and the Orient, as well as and


Africa
.

Helmets for Roman auxiliaries, or dress swords for 18th century officers, battle
ready swords for medieval knights or honorable side arms for samurai, our catalog
can provide them for you, and our collection of chain mail, in a wide variety of
styles and prices, is sure to please.


We also, in keeping with our Pirate-y name, will soon be stocking a wide range of
nautical items from the great age of sail, and pirate themed items. We will have a
variety of navigational instruments, telescopes, map magnifiers and sextants,
done in a bright solid brass, as well as a number of nautical and pirate themed
accessories.


Our dedication to quality and customer service will make The Captain's Trunk your preferred
collectible provider. After all, your happiness is our success!


So check out The Captains Trunk today! Check us out weekly, as we are adding new items
all the time!


--
Sincerely
--
Norman F.S. Hanley AKA:
Sailing a Free Trader "The Golden Heart"
Captain: Lord Merlin Orion Whiteowl
Owner/Operator
Shape Shifter Enterprises



2765 N Treat Ave.

Tucson
,
AZ
, 85716


520-954-8261
http://www.thecaptainstrunk.com
cservice@thecaptainstrunk.com



Technorati : , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Del.icio.us : , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Ice Rocket : , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Flickr : , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Zooomr : , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Buzznet : , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Riya : , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
43 Things : , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Powered by Zoundry