"It's not what we eat but what we digest that makes us strong; not what we gain but what we save that makes us rich; not what we read but what we remember that makes us learned; and not what we profess but what we practice that gives us integrity." Francis Bacon
"Integrity is doing the right thing, even if nobody is watching." -Unknown
This morning, I was laying in bed, waiting for the alarm to come on /again/, snuggling with one of my kittens, seriously considering skipping my walk and going through all the reasons why it'd be just fine to not do it...just this once... again.
But I couldn't, and I'm glad I didn't. I had great walkies/run, and it got my brain going - it's what happens when I listen to podcasts instead of music! LOL!. There were a few instances where the caller was asked specific questions about either their nutrition or workouts and they hemmed, they hawed, they hesitated and finally said "It's fine."
It really got me thinking about the integrity and accountability we /really/ have in our lives, and especially when it comes to ourselves. I've lost count of how many times that I've stepped on the scale, hoping for the best and being either relieved or disappointed at what was reflected. Regardless of what the scale said, I knew I wasn't doing what I needed to.
I know when I was starting out, I would get really annoyed that I would be doing all this work, eating better, getting my head on straight, etc., but yet still wasn't making progress. I wasn't eating /that/ bad, I'd say... but maaayyybeee I had dessert a few to many times, but still, it's not like I ate an entire gallon of ice cream! Oh yeah, there was the happy hour on Tuesday... then on Thursday... but it was /only/ a few drinks... and it was a rough week, I deserved it.
*sigh* The lies I told myself.
I could make and keep promises to anyone besides myself... I was able to face reality with everyone else around me, but I couldn't face it with myself.
That was very disappointing for me to realize. But I was determined to do something about it.
Then I started tracking EVERYTHING: Spending, eating, movement, you name it.
WOW what an eye opener! It kept me honest, and kept me open to change what I needed to, and made those mid-course corrections when I needed to. It felt a little obsessive at first, but it got me where I needed to be.
I finally got to the point where I could truly be confident when I stepped on the scale that no matter what, I was doing everything I needed to be doing to. It was up to my body at that point to respond or not, and there were weeks, and some months where it didn't. Either way, no big. *I* knew I was doing what I needed to and eventually it would catch up. And the times I didn't do my best, well, lets just say there weren't any surprises.
Instinctively, we all know when we're doing the right thing, and we also know when we're just skating by.
And on that note, a larger theme has really shown itself this week - This has been a time of reflection for a lot of folks, but not the usual looking forward to the next month's goals. This one has a bigger weight to it, so to speak.
We're on the eve of the start of the 2nd half of the year... the 1/2 way point between the last New Year and the next. I know I've been going through the 'where am I, where have I been and where am I going' thought process.
The hubby & I did a lot of physical cleaning last weekend - we took a carload of 'stuff' to Goodwill and an equal amount to the dumpster and honestly I couldn't tell you what any of it was, but I know I feel about 100 pounds lighter emotionally than I did before we started... but it also cleared the path for more emotional 'stuff' to rise to the surface that needs to be addressed before more progress can be made.
With that, I wish you all a day of quiet reflection. Look at where you've been, look at the obstacles that you encountered and all of the progress you have made! Don't think you've made any? The fact that you're here on this earth is a sign that you are extraordinary. The fact that you get up every day and do something means you have determination and the ability to succeed.
Embrace this time as an opportunity to create your best life ever. Set a goal, create a powerful emotional picture in your mind, find real pictures that exemplify what's in you, and take daily, determined action to make it happen... find and repeatedly say affirmations that are uplifting and empowering.
Make today and every day your January 1st!