Thursday, July 31, 2008

Yay! Better!

It's amazing the difference a day makes, in addition to letting go and forcing myself to chill. Oh yeah, allowing the hormonal wave to pass helps as well. Feeling much better today - My body feels better adjusted today, my mood is a bit brighter, and I was able to get up and go for a nice walk this morning without too much fuss. I didn't push myself very hard, but it was a lot less agonizing than it was on Tuesday, so yay! It will make tomorrow's walk a lot easier to deal with and getting back to 'work' next week a piece of cake! (mmm... caaake.)

I also discovered a new love. I've been a fan of the vanilla Designer Whey protein powder. Well, I was out and TJ's only had the chocolate and I decided to give it a try. O-M-G num! Especially as part of the PB & Banana smoothie I like to make. I mean, it's chocolate so of course it's nummy, but it actually had flavor unlike the vanilla that was just sort of... well, vanilla. Yeah, I'm struck by the oddness that is me getting excited over protein powder, but whatcha gonna do?

Oh, and to the boy's that read yesterday's entry (jmchris) sorry I kept it pretty tame. I'll do better next time.

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Wednesday, July 30, 2008


If there's any boys reading this, you may want to stop now... There will be talk of girlie issues...

Ok, not /too/ graphic, but still...

ok, you've been warned.

The good and bad of this week is knowing there was something going on and now I have to deal with it. As I've discovered many times before, the more I pay attention to my body and the better I treat it, the louder it speaks back. Things were going /really/ well the last couple of weeks with eating and exercise. I was productive at home, fairly productive at work, and all around kickin' butt... but I knew there was something going on - I was feeling very ADHD and easily irritated, not to mention not sleeping well.

Then I got the thyroid lab results. Oy! That explains a lot - a lot of the typical hypERthyroid symptoms... go fig.

Then this week in general happened - I was thinking it was the weekend that totally derailed me, but I think it just helped push along what what already happening - it's 'that time' again... ok not THAT time, but at about 2 weeks between cycles (aka ovulation time) I've noticed that I go through a slump, where my energy and motivation take a nose dive, I get sore and out of sorts... which, coincidentally is going on right now. Hmmm...

In the spirit of listening to my body and learning from the process, I need to accept that stuff is going on and while I can't change that, I can 1) change my attitude to accept it, 1a) start paying attention to my body's schedule, and 2) work _with_ it to reach my goals.

I'm going to do an experiment to work hard 3 weeks, go easy for that 1 week, then start all over again. Which means that I need to find a way to get more sleep because last night I had horrible insomnia. Again. Meh. Today is going to be a minimal caffeine day - even though I've cut back a lot, extra stimulants on my system right now are a bad thing.

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Tuesday, July 29, 2008


Just wanted to comment that my fabu cholesterol test scores were done by changing diet and increasing exercise. My cholesterol had been a bit on the high end for a while, but not so 'bad' that my doctor felt I needed medication. The triglycerides was really my worst 'score' for quite a while and I got the finger wagging each time. Since that one measures the sugar/carbohydrates in the blood, I was really concerned about it. Even though my glucose was fine, it can be a precursor of diabetes.

Now, for me the biggest change was to stop eating processed food, and if I did, limiting the amount of HFCS and transfats. After reading "In Defense of Food" I'm really glad I did. I /know/ that I feel better overall when I eat food that's cooked/prepped at home from real ingredients instead of out of a box, not to mention cheaper in the long run, but it's time consuming and sometimes inconvenient... I've found some shortcuts that make it easier, have some stand by recipes that help when I haven't prepared appropriately, but I still have times that life happens and I just don't do it. In the end, I pay for it after the fact - either I don't feel as well, I don't get the results I want, and it's really difficult to get back to feeling better.

Like today. I got up and went to the gym and OMG it was agonizing. My body just didn't feel like moving, my heart rate didn't want to go up, I couldn't keep focused and it was all I could do to get through it and go home. But I did it, and darn it all if I don't feel better... at least now, several hours after the fact. I have the good sore that comes from actually using my muscles (with the exception of the crick in my neck from yesterday.) I decided to stick to my schedule and have today be an easy/medium cardio day. In theory it's me getting used to moving again after 3 days off, and making tomorrow's interval workout easier.

Here's to hoping that the theory holds true. :)

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Monday, July 28, 2008

Quickie type update

Got the actual lab results from my doc, and wow...

First the good:
Total Cholesterol: 146
Triglycerides: 85 (down from the 150's a year ago!!!)
HDL: 42
LDL: 87

Glucose: 78 (pretty standard for me)

I feel so geeky and old being happy about the levels, but knowing that the bad things have decreased and the good stuff has gone up make me really, really happy!!

The mostly bad: I've gone being hypothyroid to hyperthyroid. It's good because it's helped with giving me energy and being productive, (coughweightlosscough), but bad because it can lead to all sorts of problems, including the nervousness and trouble sleeping I've already been experiencing... but didn't want to admit. It can also lead to heart issues, goiters, etc. Not fun.

Faxed the results to my other doc who is regulating this and most likely will mean a drop in my medication dosage. Whee.

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Did someone get the license plate number of the truck that ran me over?!

Seriously... that's gotta be it.

So yeah, not really in the best shape today. What amazes me is that, when I wasn't paying attention to what and when I was eating, and couldn't be classified as a normal pattern, the occasional deviation from that 'pattern' didn't have a lot of impact. If it was a 3-5 day deviation, then yeah, there were consequences, but for the most part, no big. Now, with paying attention, having an actual pattern and plan for eating, exercising, rest, etc., any small deviation has a HUGE impact.

Case in point - this weekend, even though DH(S!) was home and usually that's equals vacation time in my brain, I did good food wise on Friday and fairly good on Saturday - eating times were wonky because of getting up late and doing errands, but all in all ok. Sunday not so good. It started with a sleep deficit because (hangs head) we got a PS2 and were up till 1 playing a game... (which I totally kicked butt on! LOL!) Then we got up around 8 to get to a bridal fair to work (ironic, no? Married but still going to bridal fairs! But it keeps my hubby in town this week working so yay!). I ate 2 big meals that day - breakfast and dinner - and had minimal snacks and water during the day. Combine that with hauling heavy stuff and standing all day, I am one _really_ tired and _really, really_ sore mOnkey! I debated in my head last night about getting up for the workout this morning and decided that a moderate/high intenstity workout would do more harm than good, but I would do something easy. When I could barely move without hurting to turn off my alarm, that plan was scratched, too. Or at least postponed till I get home tonight.

The ibuprophen is slowly working but my neck & shoulder still don't really want to work, which makes it fun if I try to move my head. :/

What all this whining amounts to is how I was taking for granted the fact that I was feeling GREAT! and how much I'm looking forward to getting back to feeling GREAT very, very soon. Today is a new day with a plan for eating, exercising, and just being the best person I can be.

In other news I got a notice on my labs and my cholesteral is FABU! My glucose level is happily low-normal and I'm going to pick up the actual sheet from my doc to see the rest of it. The little card with those results had a note that my thyroid was low, but need to see the actual numbers to understand what that means.

On a final note... OMG I am sooo sick of the commerical for multigrain cheerios! "But the box! It says..." "What else does the box say?" Well, it should say that the people who wrote this commercial are stupid heads.

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Friday, July 25, 2008

Happy Friday Dance!

Yay! I made it to Friday! And my DH(S!) is at least in the state and will hopefully be headed this way in a couple of hours.

Was very proud of myself - got up about 10 minutes earlier, made it through my workout this morning and kicked butt! All that despite an interruption from a friend of mine. She's the uber crazy one that gets up for spin class at 5 am... so there I am, huffing away during my 2nd or 3rd interval, heart rate is around 150-155, sweat dripping down my face and she stops by to say hi. Cool... then actually wants me to have a conversation. WT-?!? Surprisingly was able to talk to her for a bit, maintain my heart rate, and not fall over.

Whoo hoo! :)

Apparently the rest did good for me.

And I stuck around for an extra few mintues to get some decent stretching in. Felt very good!

Then I get into work to see a HUGE plate of very tempting chocolate chip cookies that would have made Nana Nestle very proud. I looked at them for a good couple minutes then decided that it wasn't worth it. At least not today. If I'm going to indulge, I need to set standards, and while I'm sure those were fabu and don't want to bad mouth the wonderful baker, if I'm gonna have a cookie, it's gonna be from Rocco's or my own kitchen. And if I'm gonna have ice cream, it's gonna be real ice cream - full fat cream/milk, sugar and happiness. Basically if there's going to to be an indulgence, I want it to be worth it, ya know?

Speaking of which, kinda concerned about this weekend. Will be the first weekend with DH(S!) since I've been back on track eating and exercise wise. Next week won't be so bad since he'll be working and I can cook/workout as normal. Tomorrow may be an issue since there's a gathering, and Sunday is going to be really challenging since I'm helping out at a bridal fair (aka minimal breaks, no access to decent food, and lots of cake samples.)

It'll take planning, I know, and if I don't do great, well, there's always Monday.

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Thursday, July 24, 2008

Tired Thrusday

That pretty much says it all... I'm just tired today. I keep thinking of the stories you hear over and over again: "as soon as I started exercising consistently, I had boundless energy! I was unstoppable." Ok, so I've been exercising consistently and I'm pooped! What's wrong with me?!?!

Oh yeah, I have chronic fatigue and my adrenals are slowly coming back to life, and that means that exercise can invigorate and exhaust the wee little gland at the same time. That's what.

So what that means is that I didn't go to the gym this morning, I didn't do Pilate's, I didn't do squat... unless doing roll overs to hit the snooze counts as strength training.

And what this also means is that I'm hovering on the line that separates the whiny, rationalizing world from the learning one's limits and adapting accordingly. Luckily I feel like I'm on the 2nd side, not the first.

Looking at where I am now and where I was before, I know that it's just a matter of building up to the point where I can do 5 days straight of cardio. Where I was, I'd be lucky if I would be able to do low to moderate cardio 1x every 3 days, and my diet (the little 'd' diet which means my food intake, unlike Diet that's the evil 4 letter word) wouldn't support or nurture my body's effort anyway.

Where I am now, my diet is a lot cleaner, and the better I eat, the better I feel and the more I want to move and be active. Where I am now, I can do moderate to high intensity 3 days in a row before needing a break. Then I can get back to it and feel better.

Where I am going, I will be doing those 4-5 days of cardio straight, and eating to be a fat burning machine. In order to get there, there's 2 really important pieces that I've been putting off for whatever reason: 1) getting more sleep. As much as I've been fussing about it, I'm still only getting about 5-6 hours. Not cuttin' it. As much as I love the calls from the hubby (squee! :) at the end of his day, they come in around 10-11:30. So, no calls after 10:15, no TV after 10:00 and lights out at 10:30. 2) More stretching. It's a big one for so many people, including myself. I do a quick leg stretch before hopping on the treadmill or elliptical and another 10-20 second stretch afterwards then go on my merry way. Again, not cuttin' it. But this one is a bit more tricky of how to fit it in due to time. then again, I don't need to do an hours worth of yoga after each workout... just 5 minutes of major focused stretching to release all the ick I've built up during the workout. And since Thursdays have been the day where it all hits me, doing my yoga or Pilate's tape that morning. Yeah, seems workable.

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Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Cranky Wednesday abounds

Yeah... this picture was begging to be taken and it made me giggle this morning. :)

So yeah, this morning was an interesting challenge. I /did/ get up earlier (go me!) but still ended up being late. It was a struggle to get out of bed, and felt kinda like poo when I finally did. Then it was a comedy of errors to just /get/ to the gym. I had to go back to the house 2 times before going to the gym - forgot my heart rate monitor first, then realized I forgot my water bottle. Meh... on the way into the gym I realized I'd forgotten my card (which really means I forgot my wallet [ie my drivers license! oops!]) Yeah. Luckily the nice guy who's always at the front just waved me in.

I get on the first elliptical machine. SQUEEEEEEEEK! SQUEEEEEEEEK! SQUEEEEEEEEK! I get on the one next to it. SQuueeek SQuueeek SQuueeek. *sigh* fine. get on the one next to it... squ... squ... good enough. Somehow I managed to plough through the workout fairly easily - even though it's normally brutal - so yay! and the mOnkeyPod was playing some kick butt music to distract me. Whee.

I managed to barely make it to work on time again, so will definitely work on getting up earlier, especially as my workouts get longer. And tomorrow will be a super easy cardio day, me thinks - like doing pilates at home instead of the treadmill at work. Body is giving me the warning of 'push me more and you'll pay' as I've got the slightly achey, not-quite-but-on-the-edge-of-a-cold feeling. Will still do my workout tomorrow, but not as vigerous.

One perk to the morning (besides a nice call from my hubby. squee!) was a spark message commenting that I'm about 1/2 way through my weightloss travels... hokey smokes, she's right! how cool is that?!?! My determination is strong, and I pulled out a bikini that I /will/ be wearing proudly next July. I'm also going to find the skirt that I've been holding on to and hang that in a prominent place. It's one that's a smaller cut than the size says and I've never worn it... It WILL be worn by my birthday!

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Friday, July 18, 2008

Full Moon Friday

From today's Healthy Reflections:

Know your limits...but never stop trying to exceed them.

- Anonymous

Overcoming your personal "stop signs"

Many of us use our "limitations" as a stop sign for reaching our goals. While knowing our limits can safeguard us against injury and embarrassment, too often we use them as avoidance methods in our lives. What is holding you back from reaching your goals? How can you push beyond your comfort zone in a healthy way? Many dieters experience such limitations in on their weight loss journeys. Our bodies and minds are capable of overcoming much more than we could ever imagine if we just try. Today set new goals that may push you a little. Overcoming your personal hang-ups and fears may be one of the most rewarding choices you'll ever make!


And then my horrorscope for today:

"Today's Full Moon falls in your 4th House of Foundations, motivating you to get to the bottom of an issue that's been bothering you recently. It may be scary to share your concerns with anyone else, yet you may discover that it's not nearly as bad as you expected once you get it out into the open. Don't put off an important discussion; it can change things for you in a positive way faster than you think."

Double OW!!!

And then from my No Excuses group:

"The longer you wait to act on a decision (to start exercising, start eating right, start drinking 64 ounces of water per day, etc.) the less likely it is to happen. Take action RIGHT NOW so that you are that much closer to having tons of energy and being as healthy as possible. YES, YOU ARE WORTH IT!"

Eeesh, ok, I get it!

It is always interesting when I get the same message over and over again in a short time frame... especially when it's right in line with thoughts I have been having. This week, I've gotten the message that I need to do a anocrainectomy (pull my head out of my bum ;) and 1) start addressing issues, 1a) write down a workable plan/goals, 2) start sharing my goals and plans with other people [aka my HS (aka: hubby squee! ;)] and 3) stop thinking/pondering/contemplating/planning/wondering about it and just do it!

The biggest eye opener was when I was transfering my SP blog entries over to blogger (easier to sort through stuff that way) and I noticed several trends, but the overall feeling I was left with was, "OMG I'm such a whiner!" Theres a few entries that I was surprised by my wit and insight, but for the most part it was a bunch of 'I'm gonna do it, darn it. Oh poor me, dind't do this. Oooh, lookie at me I didn't have cake, but didn't exercise either.' Blah.

I'm really tired of being that person. And more importantly, I'm tired of thinking like that person. I'm wanting to be a person of action; a person who gets up, does what she needs to do because it's what I do, and don't dwell on it. To get results, I must embrace the routine, enjoy the process, and not get bogged down in the details.

This week it was more difficult to get up as the week went on, but I did it. I did my best to not begrudge it, and told myself, "I am excited and proud to get up at 5:45 every morning to go to the gym: as I was going to sleep and when my alarm went off in the morning. This morning I was almost too perky because of the cute new skort thingy I got to work out in... it's funny that feeling cute and flirty helps get ya going, but I'm sticking with whatever it takes to help keep me going.

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Thursday, July 17, 2008

Words of Wisdom

From the Healthy Reflection today:
Self-love is the only weight-loss aid that really works in the long run.

- Jenny Craig, diet guru

Battle scars from the Diet War

Like Martha Graham, who said that "The body is a sacred garment. It's your first and last garment; it is what you enter life in and what you depart life with, and it should be treated with honor," Jenny Craig seems to know a thing or two about caring for your body and your self. In the Garden of Eden, eating was modeled as one of life's most pleasurable experiences. But then Eve took a bite out of that apple (so much for the low calorie, low fat, high fiber theory), and women (and men) have been at war with food ever since. Both of these quotes reflect this fact. Are your weight issues really a symptom of something else--boredom, depression, regret, or rejection? At the root of many issues is our self-loathing at worst, our self-indifference at best. Food is not the enemy. We are. Break the cycle of dieting and replace it with loving yourself enough to make good choices about your diet. Examine your eating habits this week. Are you honoring your body with your food choices? How can you love yourself back to a healthy relationship with eating? Take steps towards defeating the natural compulsion or craving that might take you down a path of regretful eating. Remember the sacredness of your own skin

And from my No Excuses email this morning...

Each day you are given a clean slate to be health:

- do your Workout
- avoid making excuses
- drink 64 ounces of water
- have breakfast within an hour of waking up
- don't skip meals
- have healthy snacks at mid-morning and mid-afternoon
- don't let one or two bad days lead you to give up

Those last 2 are ones that I _really_ need to focus on... and definitely the excuses thing.

There was no cardio for me this morning - I opted to get my blood work done instead and OMG was I hungry & cranky by the time I got done... I'm not used to waiting that long after I get up to eat, but I'm looking forward to seeing the results and seeing what I need to work on.

Tonight is my night to do strength stuff, and if the humidity drops a bit and my tummy settles down (the good and bad of getting back to eating lots of fruits & veggies... nuff said) I may even go for a walk.

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Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Change in the air

Yesterday, a friend of mine made the comment that it felt like change was on the wind. I made some witty response about breaking wind and on we went with a different conversation. Yeah, I know... deep, huh? But the truth is, there is a lot of change going on with me and I'm having serious difficulty with it.

I've got a low level frustration thing that I'm trying to figure out. Part of it is a physical girlie thing, so I'm chalking a lot of it up to that. Not to mention trying to figure out how to 'fix' a lot of other problems in my life. ::shakes fist at all the guru's and their goal making advice!:: My Hubby (squee!) did a big goal making session that we talked about before he left on this recent trip and it's been knocking around my brain... I know what I ultimately want, and I already basically know the details of how to get there, but I've got a huge brick wall staring me in the face.

I've been reading through the Burn the Fat book and there's lots of great information in it that I'm really excited about implementing, but I'm really struggling with the nutrition aspect - aka The Food - but I'm not really sure why. On the one hand, it's about learning a new way of planning meals to incorporate the right ratio's of nutrients to ensure maxium fat burning. Schweet!

On the other hand I'm looking at this tiny list of foods and this really vague formula of what to eat with what and when and how many times and wtfoatmeal!?!?! and and... ::flop:: So yeah, frustrated.

And the scale is up a bit (points back to girlie issue). I've tried telling myself it's new, try it for a week, body is just adjusting, etc. but Veruca just pouts and Stevie... yeah, don't think that's the peace sign thankyouverymuch.

I spent way too much time during my workout this morning thinking about how I'm really not getting it, how it sux, why it's not going to work for me, how I can tweak it to fit what *I* want to eat not what I'm being told to eat (no matter the fact that I've read many first hand testimonials from people on different groups that it works! And gee, how was what I *want* to eat working for me?!)

Then, as I was getting ready, I got my horoscope:

"Don't be impatient with yourself right now. It takes time to learn something new."

::shakes fist at PTB:: Darn them and their always being right!

I feel like all those stories you hear about people who stop just short of the finish line without realizing how close they really are. Right now I have a lot of things in flux, and it feels very chaotic, but eventually all the pieces will fall into place and things will calm down, so I need to just breathe, continue to cut myself a bit of slack for being *ugh* human, and have faith it will all work out in the end. Oh yeah, and stop skipping around in the book. LOL!

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Tuesday, July 15, 2008


It's been a while since I've posted and bunches of stuff gone on. Since I've discovered that I can post things with a past date on it, I'll add some of the entries from my SP blog. Of late, I've been focused more and more on my health, reaching goals related to that, but also working out other goals, putting them in writing and creating deadlines to meet those goals.

So, basically, anything between now and Sept is from my SP blog, anything after is all new, baby. :)

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