Friday, January 30, 2009

This is me

See, I was having a quandary. As I mentioned yesterday, I feel like this week has been pretty much a waste. I'm tired, I'm achy, and AF is still holding off her visit for whatever reason which is making me crampy and cranky. I've done a few workouts and decided to get myself to the gym this morning and just walk. Didn't have to do much, just something. And my legs hated me for it. Not too horribly, just again with the achy.

But on the other hand, I have a plan all mapped out - got my lifting for tonight then moderate cardio for tomorrow. No big, right?

This is one of those weird times that I can't quite read what my body is trying to tell me. But after much debate, I decided that no matter what mixed signals my body is giving me, I'm going to take the next couple of days off. Knowing I've got a Football Fondue/Hubby B-day Fest on Sunday, I'll take a walk around the neighborhood tomorrow, but it will be a nice leisurely stroll rather than a 45-minute sweat fest, and maybe throw some Pilate's/yoga in tonight for good measure, but leave it at that. Heh, doesn't sound like much down time but it is dialing stuff way back for me.

It's frustrating when your mind wants to do more than the body is willing to give (sound familiar, Ramona dear? ;) But I'd rather give myself some down time and kick it on Monday than end up totally miserable and wanting to throw my weights around. :giggle: that's kinda funny!

In other news, my awesome hubby gave me a pressie yesterday - a T-shirt that says "Trophy Wife". While it could be seen as insulting by some, I love it! It's sort of a running joke how I'm working on being a "Trophy Wife" in addition to being pretty /and/ smart. Although I teased him that now I need to work extra hard to get in shape and earn one. But yeah, not wanting to go Figure Comp route... (ok, I sorta do, but don't want to be /that/ focused on my food/exercise. I'd rather just look like I am. ;) do they give trophies for winning a 5K?

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Thursday, January 29, 2009


Wait, what do you mean it's /Thursday/?!?! Yeah, been that kind of week - super busy at work with hardly a chance to breathe (job security?) then feeling mostly like poo the rest of the time. I worked a bridal fair with my hubby on Sunday and that took a toll on my legs, along with the fact that AF decided to act like the monster energy vampire. Seriously. Sucked all my energy and most of my brain power, leaving me with the dumb for the better part of this week. I slogged through my cardio on Monday, and felt like I had a useless workout with the trainer that night (we did legs... go fig! And he knew I wasn't in much of a working mood since I kept chatting. oops.)

Tuesday was the Super Cranky Day From Heck. It got to the point where I decided to take my cranky butt home early and take a nap. The kittens enjoyed that, and helped the mood a bit, but not so much with the energy. I again slogged through a walk before I went to dinner with my friend. That was a much needed outing, but it was also bitter sweet - we were marking the 3rd anniversary of the passing of a good friend. That thought pretty much put a damper on the day, making the super emo, pre-AF mood almost unbearable (hence the nap!).

Yesterday was starting to get a bit better, although I had the whole excited apprehension for my workout that night. It was the first of the 1x a week, 1-hour sessions. Eeks! Even though I knew it would be fine, the only frame of reference I had was from 3 years ago being put through a torturous workout from a PT that left me mostly unable to move for a week. It was the last session I had from him and almost made me throw in the fitness towel and completely swear off weights all together! Glad I got over it. :) Anywho, the workout went really well, and I almost feel human today... except for the arms. OW. Shoulder/delt/lat regions hate me right now. Ow. And I get to put myself through some of it again tomorrow. Whee!

Oh, and AF is still biding her time, I'm sure hiding till an inopportune moment to show up.

All in all, I really wanted to call this week a dud but the fact that my trainer commented on the definition in my legs, and me getting through that 1 hour workout alive, and keeping my food ratios right where it needs to be, and studying even though the book hurts my brain, even finding a weeee skosh bit of time to spend with the hubby while he's working in town (most of it's a sleepy kiss when he gets home or when I'm leaving for work, but whatcanyado?).

Figure I'm doing something ok.

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Saturday, January 24, 2009


You gotta indulge in something from your 'old life' to remind yourself of why you left that world behind.

Stopped at Taco He$$ for lunch because I was out and about and it honestly sounded good... I even opted for the 'fresco' menu, which I discovered is TH speak meaning hold the cheese and add runny beans instead of the dehydrated ones. As I was eating it, it wasn't too bad. I was pretty impressed with the beans actually. Then about 5 minutes that 'bleck, what's coating the inside of my mouth, throat and innards?!' feeling hit. And it's still lingering. That's accompanied by the full but not satisfied feeling I get when I eat something that's probably less than ideal nutritionally

So, while I'm a firm believer that there's room for anything in a healthy lifestyle, it's all about observing how your body reacts to what you put in it, and choosing to not have something that makes you cruddy afterward.

Friday, January 23, 2009

In case you didn't believe me...

These are my very lonely pants.

And yeah, realizing they need to be retired or something. Wow!

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Fabulous lonely pants, choices, grace, and the Queen of Everything Friday

The week started out super awesome. I got to spend 2 days in a row with my fantastically amazing hubby - as a side note, I've always known he was amazing, but really, over the last couple of months, I've really learned the depths of his awesomeness. Even then, I think/hope I've only scratched the surface! Now most people may not think 2 days in a row with someone is that big of a deal, but considering the fact that he not only travels a lot, but most of his 'days off' are during the week when I'm working. We got lucky this week and he was home Sunday & Monday, and I had Monday off. YAY! We spent a lot of time talking about what we've learned, and where we're going. The conversations (and a few comments from my trainer) really were the impetus for me to stop talking and make a decision to move ahead with the PT cert. The cool thing is that, even though we have different takes on it, we're very much on the same path now, and even closer together than we were before. Squee!

Then the week started and oh my goodness was it a doozy! Up till now, it seems like folks have still been on holiday mode but not any more. The pace went into overdrive for everyone and, quite honestly, I was having a ball! Yes, there were frustrating moments, but since I'm now the super duper official Queen of Everything around these here parts, I just dismissed it. I might have a snarky moment to release it, but otherwise, I was good. I find it really interesting when the, uh, 'stuff' gets piled up... It reminded me a bit of my wedding - there were soooo many details to deal with that it was overwhelming at times, but it also lended many moments of clarity. Times like that /really/ show what people are made of. Yes I had several meltdowns, but I also was in the moment at the time I needed. Been like that this week - feeling on top of things, able to answer the questions I needed to, able to help the people that needed it.

Reminded me of the quizzes that go out to friends that say 'what word would you use to describe me?' I've been called "Unflappable", "gracious", "calm", and my favorite, "Cutthroughthecrapeandgetitdone"... Yeah, ok. If you say so. But apparently, depending on the type of pressure, I do pretty well and don't take it out (much) on other people.

Can't say the same for other people around me, and I saw parts of folks that really disappointed me - not going to help, not going to share the info because I want you to fail, not my job, someone elses problem.

Yeah, maybe I'm a bit too giving, but I look at it like "if not me, then who?" I have a choice in how to respond and I chose to just get the work done.


But here I sit, on Friday, in my lonely pants... oh, yeah, you thought I'd forgotten about that. ;) Was wearing these jeans a few weeks ago and a co-worker giggled. I pressed, she said, "are your pants lonely since your butt left?!"

o_O ROFL!!!

See, I always joke about having a flat posterior (yes, honey, I know you disagree!) and this was really funny because these pants were almost caved in at the back pocket. Now, they're extra lonely cuz my butt took part of my hips & thighs with it. Oh darn. ;)

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Be a giver

One of the fantastic blogs that I read on a regular basis is doing a 'race' this weekend that will benefit Reily Children's Hospital.

Here's the nfo on her page:

Here's her fundraising page

Even $1 will help her reach her goal and will, of course, help the kiddo's!

It's a great cause. Now go... give! (and yes, I will be donating soon!)

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Tuesday, January 20, 2009

The hard part

Well, this is what I get for putting my intentions out into the world... I guess I've talked about it enough because my fantastic husband made me an offer I couldn't refuse (not like /that/! Geesh!)so I took the plunge and signed up for the ISSA PT cert course. That's the easy part.

There's a BIG part of my brain that's going, "what am I thinking?!" But another little part of the brain is doing backflips. I spent a lot of time with the hubby talking about why I want to do this and what I want out of it and I have a much bigger picture that I'm going for. But at the moment, I'm doing it for me, to learn, to better myself, and to ultimately help people.

Till then, I'm going to calm the part of me that's freaking out and get to work! /That/ is the hard part!

Friday, January 16, 2009

A Milestone Reached!

Yep... that's my weight as of this morning! Veruca, Stevie & I did a big 'ol happy dance around the bathroom and scared the cats. I was expecting it to be in the 169.0-169.8 range, but was thrilled to see it squarely on the nose.

This week I decided I was DONE with being surprised by my results and too action. I got back to my basics - logging my food, stuck to my training plan, drinking my water, making sure my macro nutrient ratio was 40-45/30/30, and (this is new) limited the amount of starchy/grain carbs I was taking in. The results were right in line, actually better, than I expected. I also took my measurements because I was a bit over excited... then promptly tossed them. Once a month is all I need and in a little over a week my trainer is going to do them for me.

Thing is, it's really just a number. It's a gauge to see if what I'm doing overall is working for me and this morning it gave me the green light to keep doing what I'm doing. I was extra excited because it means my workout tomorrow is gonna be for the greater good of my mind, body, soul, and my health.

It makes me realize how far I've come in my mindset. One of my awesome Sparkbuddies commented how I'm 20# away from my goal... and my first thought was 'from my first goal'. Today, instead of the number on the scale giving me license to have a free day because I 'earned it', I just did a happy dance, had my usual breakfast and looked over my lifting and cardio plan for tomorrow. I'll have a 'replenishing' day when my hubby gets home Sunday, till then, it's same-o, same-o.

But my weigh in wasn't the best thing to happen today. It was nice, and don't get me wrong: I'm _thrilled_ to have made it into the 160's.

The fact that my chiropractor only needed to spend about 5-7 min working on me, rather than the full 15... THAT ROCKED! I teased him that I got the adjustment my hubby usually gets! It means that I'm doing with I need to to keep my body in true balance. The nutrition, the exercise, the nightly stretching, and the rest (oooh, the kittens, bless their furry little toes, have let me sleep all night the last couple nights! Cue the rainbows! LOL!) all that is creating the best environment for my body to thrive.

Oh!!! I get to end today by finally meeting the beautiful Barbara and other Tucson Sparkers!!! YAY!

And yes, I'm excited to take Veruca shopping for cute matchy-match workout clothes!!!

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Wednesday, January 14, 2009

This rocks!!

Ok fine, you all were right. I have been in a bit of a funk - tiredness will do that, and I got even less sleep last night (the cats are sleepin' on the couch tonight!)

But I was pokin' around SP a bit to just see where I was last year, etc., when I started doing HIIT workouts, when I started doing strength stuff, etc. Here's the proof that I'm on the right track:

See that mostly flat line in 2007? And see that happy red line showing where I finally got of my... ahem... cut through the junk, and moved?! I stopped talking and thinking about it, and started doing.

Yeah, that's making it all worth while for me right now.

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Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Mirror, Mirror, on the wall...

It's been an interesting few days, to say the least. This weekend was busy - worked a bridal fair with the hubby which meant many long hours on my feet on a concrete floor, getting over stimulated, dealing with all sorts of people, not eating well, and just getting overtired in general.

That doesn't bode well for my mood or with keeping the brain/mouth filter engaged. Yes, I know that I'm working on finding my authentic voice, but there are times that it needs to be kept in check... as my horoscope today pointed out:

"Telling others exactly what you think seems like a good idea at first, but it quickly becomes apparent that it's more complicated than just speaking your mind."

Yeah, wish I'd read that yesterday. I was _really_ cranky yesterday, and many people were annoying the heck out of me, like that was their life's purpose! One co-worker caught me at the wrong time and I went off on her unreasonable expectations of others.

I stormed off and went into the bathroom and looked in the mirror... I realized what was annoying me is the fact that I was being faced with parts of my own personality that I wasn't proud of, that I didn't like, or that I have done a lot of work to let go of.

Gotta love silly opportunities for growth. They present themselves when you need it the most, but when you really don't want it.

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Friday, January 9, 2009

Decisions, Decisions...

You have brains in your head.
You have feet in your shoes.
You can steer yourself any direction you choose.
~Dr. Seuss

Did you know that you're one decision away from greatness? Right at this moment. One decision... that's all.

When I became a Mary Kay consultant, I heard this a lot from my director, other directors, NSD's, people who were where I wanted to be. I heard it... but didn't quite believe it.

Then I kind of forgot about it because I let my MK career fall by the wayside.

But it keeps coming up again and again, like many truths do, waiting for me to really get it, and to allow myself to believe it.

And I'm finally there. Or rather, I got there about a year ago.

Thing is, it seems so simple. TOO simple: Make a decision and be great. Yeah, sure, there's got to be more to it than that. The 1st step for the FlyLady system: shine your sink. That's it?!

But really, that's it.... do something small and big things will follow. It's not complicated - just make a decision to do something: move more, get into shape, be happy, get out of debt, be great.

So why it so hard? Why do we resist making the decision to take hold of the reins of our life and going where WE want to go? Because making the decision is easy. It's the follow through that's difficult. You have to believe deep down that you CAN do it, and, more importantly, that you WILL do it.

Yep, that's the hard part.

I've consciously made several key decisions over the last year that have lead me to the amazing place that I call my life, and I'm ready to make another one.

One friend gave me a challenge without even knowing it: she asked if I've told the universe what I wanted to be when I grew up. I haven't because I wasn't quite sure what I wanted. I've been thinking a lot about it though. I'm not sure if being a personal trainer in the physical sense is really what I want to do, BUT I see it as an awesome first step towards what i want to do. I keep hearing that, if I'm doing what I love, the universe/God/The Powers That Be will conspire to reward me and help me stay on that path.

Sometimes the universe conspires to push you towards the path you're meant to be on and for me, that path is one where I help people in a life/health/wellness coach capacity.

I decided that by March 1, 2009 I'm beginning that journey. I'll order the program and by my 40th birthday I will have my PT certification so I can start in on the Nutrition and Wellness course. At this point I have no idea how I'll pay for it or find the time to study.

So, this is a call to the universe/God/PTB/Friends/Family: Bring it! Conspire on my behalf. Flaggship Fitness is waiting.

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Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Finding faith in myself

As of today, I have 2 weeks to get my act together, find my courage and set a plan into action.

Ok, that sounds really dark and foreboding and it's not, but at the same time, it is.

I loooove working with my trainer. It's so awesome to realize that, even when I think I'm totally done, completely spent, he'll say in a quiet, matter of fact way, "3 more" and some where I find the energy to do it. And the progress I've made physically has been amazing! It's totally and competely inline with health goals!

Unfortunately, it's not in line with my financial goals right now. I have 4 - 1/2 hour sessions left, and I decided to take advantage of their 1/2 off 12 sessions deal for January, and sadly, that'll be it for a while. I'm hoping I'm doing it the smart way - to spread out the time, I'm going to *eek* go up to a 1 hour session but only 1x a week. The other 2 strength days are on my own. So it will be up to me to kick my own butt, to tell myself '3 more' and push myself just a little harder each time.

I worry that I can't do it, that I won't do it, even though I already I am. But I have a goal, I have support, and I've got the knowledge.

I can do this! And I will amaze my awesome trainer every time I go in of how far I've progressed!

Tuesday, January 6, 2009


The point... I have one

I had a sneaking suspicion that I was missing the point of the exploring/forging/discovery messages I was getting yesterday. And I think I was right, because I got the answer from Signals catalogue, of all places:

There was a beautiful print of a bird with this written next to it: "Fly without hesitation to the edge of the horizon with outstretched wings and vivid dreams trusting you will not fall." Heather Handler (artist) (In geek terms: Go BOLDLY where no one has gone before!)

Thing is, I'm with it, up until the last 5 words: TRUSTING you will not fall.


That's the kicker, isn't it? Trust. Trusting myself enough to chose a path that's right for ME, not one that's chosen for me, not one that's right for other people and their perceptions of me.

I keep hearing that, when I am doing what I love, when I am living my life in line with the person I want to be, the universe will conspire on my behalf. Heaven and Earth will move to allow me to be able to do what I love.

Wow, talk about scary! And the responsibility!!

I mean, wow... what if I change my mind? What if I don't do well?! What if I ... fall?

Oh wait.

I won't.

I can't. The universe won't let me, if I trust it.

I'm surrounded by an amazing safety net of friends, family, and information, so how could I NOT reach my goals/find my wings/find my voice/find my true path?!

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Monday, January 5, 2009

People make plans...

God laughs. That's about how I feel since I was all set to write about one thing, then got this monster flick in the head from a different direction.

It started with my hubby stealing his ideas back.

And was quickly followed by the Healthy Reflection...

"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.

- Mark Twain, American writer"

Then VEEJAY3 wrote an amazing entry on creating and exploring your own paths.

So... now that the PTB have my attention what am I to take from this?

Well, on the surface of it, I get that I'm on the right path - getting comfortable with discomfort, doing new and different things, and all that jazz.

I also get the message as a word of caution. This weekend I commented/thought several times: I'm _so_ happy to be back to my old routine! Uh oh! Is that me slipping back to comfort so soon? Yes, but not really. There is comfort in routine. However, there is also strength and freedom. Routine means knowing what needs to be done, knowing what works, and DOING it, then tweaking it when it stops working or find a new way to do things if need be.

So this message is of encouragement. This weekend wasn't really my old routine, though. Part if was - shopping, prepping food for the week, planning my meals & workouts. The other part, the DOING IT part, that was kind of new. I spent more time moving the last couple of days than I think I did the entire month of December. I took out 2-3 bags to the recycle bin, I took out 3 bags of trash. I created a larger donation pile. I crossed off all but one thing on my 'to-do'list... and yet I felt like I spent most of the time on the couch. I ventured outside of my 'routine' and spurred myself into action. I also had the chance to do more reading, touch base with friends, and contemplate the path ahead of me.

It's also a message of faith. Reminding me I don't need the ruby slippers, I have all the information I need inside me. But I have to explore uncharted waters, forge a new path in my brain, in my heart, in my soul to really let it out.

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Friday, January 2, 2009

Now that the ball has dropped

Pick it up and run with it!!!

I'm totally stealing my hubby's phrase, but he had a great point. We talked a bit about how we're going to make our goals happen, what the collective and individual We need to do, etc.

There's the flurry, the excitement, the urgency to set resolutions/goals/to-do's, but now that New Year's has passed, what's the reality? Are you taking baby steps to get your endurance & nutrition back up from the month off? Are you throwing yourself into it or do you have a plan that will keep you on track and push you without feeling completely shredded? Or are you still putting off getting started because you want to do it 'just so'?

I started my 12-week fat blasting series on Monday and my fitness plan for this month is: intervals on M, W, F, and weights M, W, Sa. This morning I braced myself for a super packed parking lot at the gym and you know what I found instead? All but one of the spots at the front of the building were completely empty. I think, counting the 2 people working, there were 10 people in the whole gym. Granted, it /was/ 5:50 am and most people probably took today off work and weren't going to get up that early, but still... that's way less than the usual crowd. It will be interesting to see how it is next week!

Oh, if anyone is interested, Discovery Health is doing their annual national body challenge including an 8-week free membership to Bally's.

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