Wednesday, January 2, 2008


Ok, so 2008 actually started with a *whimper*. Got slammed with a monster migraine around 11, kept getting worse till we got home and around 12:30 could barely see straight. So glad my honey was driving. Took many meds, finally got to sleep, and woke up feeling mostly better.

It was a nice day yesterday - we went and got photos taken (my honey won a sitting and free photos with a good photographer) and spend the rest of the day watching the Biggest Loser season 2 marathon, oh, and eating badly... yeah, sort of a contradiction, no? I did realize that I can't eat that way any more - not just nutritionally, but also because I felt like poo afterwards.

It was really good to watch the show - and am recording the new season, too - because it put some stuff in perspective. Yes, they work out for hours on end, and yes, they are secluded and have nothing else to focus on, but it's the determination and inner strength they find that keeps them going and pushing themselves. I really identified with Andrea - she was just going through the motions, trying to keep afloat, but hit the point where it was either sh*t or get off the pot, and she totally kicked butt and looked awesome. It made me think of what was I doing? I *say* I want this or that, and put some effor into it but am worried or scared I'm going to push *too* far... but what does that mean? It means that I'm either going to hurt myself - ok, that would be bad, but I would recover. But worse: it may mean I would succeed. It may mean that I will discover that I *am* a strong person inside and out, that I *am* a beautiful person inside and out, and that I can start living instead of making excuses

This morning, after arguing with myself for about 10 min, not to mention struggling against a cat that was determined to snuggle sleep me again, I got my butt out of bed, and did my best effort with my work out. I have my pedometer on today, to start charting my progress on the walk to Rivendell. I will treat every day as New Years Day - an opportunity to make smart choices, to start fresh, and get to my goal.

But for now, I get some work done. :)

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