It's been said that confession is good for the soul, and after writing out my post on Monday, I started to feel a little better. Not a huge amount, but sometimes addressing the anxiety monster head on helps with making it less... scary, or at least makes it more manageable. I'm still dealing with bouts of OMGSOMETHINGBADISGOINGTOHAPPENIJUSTKNOWIT!!! but less frequently - like once every half hour rather than every 10 minutes.
Still doing the 3/4 decaf - 1/4 caff mix on the coffee, still working out, still eating fine, still breathing (ok, breathing /more/ lol!) blah blah blah... but I'm still feeling wiggy. I had a nice distraction on Monday night by having dinner with a friend and got some good hug therapy (those are the best!) And the hubby had a couple awesome days of sales so that's making me feel a lot more comfy with the money situation, so I can hopefully keep going with the trainer for a while! yay!
Oh, but had my first session with the trainer on Monday night as well, and it went pretty well. I was very happy for one that I've been measuring my BF % pretty close to what he had - I'm at 33.6% (and the crazy brain says that conceivably I could be below 30% before the end of the year). I was also really happy because I am in a lot better shape than I realized - doode! 16 full situps in a minute! And while the work out was challenging, it was the first one and it was a 'see where you are before we really start pushing things' sort of a thing. I'm still feeling it today (and have my 2nd session tonight) but for the most part it's like, "hey, I worked out! this is that 'good sore' people talk about!" other than the 'OMG hurt and feel like I'm filled with lead' that I was worried about.
Looking forward to tonight and seeing what sort of a nutrition plan he's got concocted for me... I'm trying to keep an open mind because he seems to be in line with what I'm already doing/have learned. I'm also really focusing on /not/ acting like I know more than him. Yes I've been doing well on my own and getting results, but it will be good to have that tweaked to get even better results.