We need to talk.
It's only because your family, and the only Aunt that comes to visit regularly, that I feel I need to bring this up. It's very kind of you to want to see me so often, really, but all this other other crap that comes with your visit has got to stop.
First you sneak in a few days early, mess with my body, like you're injecting it with extra fluid and slowing all systems way down. Then you sneak in my closet and take in all the pants a couple of inches to make them extra tight. Not to mention messing with scales, making them all weigh at least 3-5 pounds heavier o-v-e-r-n-i-g-h-t! After that you some how manage to set all the craving levels for sugary, fatty, fried, calorie laden food to 11 and make the foods themselves seem more obvious - I swear that scone in the fridge wasn't bigger than the jug of milk yesterday! And the chocolate bar that's in the freezer: STOP making it fall on me every time I open the door for ice!
After you finish will all that, you hide for a bit and I'm left feeling super irritable, ready to rip anyone's head off that looks at me.
When you finally arrive for your visit, I'm so wiped out I can barely put up a fuss when you hand me your 'gift' and then proceed to use my belly as a trampoline.
This. Has. Got. To. Stop.
I don't know how much longer I can put up with things the way they are. I don't want to strain our relationship but something needs to change. I've done my part (yeah, all the things in the 'Beat PMS' article? Total crap. Doing it and then some, still not really helping) now it's time for you to start toeing the line before I decide to take drastic measures.
I know we can work together on this to make for an amicable relationship.
And as a total side note, Dana Torres is totally my hero! Yes, she's been put in the spotlight and is very controversial (for other people, IMO - she's done the work, people, it /is/ possible for a /woman/ over the age of 20 to achieve new levels of fitness... hello... Germany has a kick a$$ gymnast who's 33 for cripe's sake, who's doing as well or better than when she was 20. No one's giving her cr@p! grr). Yes she's a kick butt athlete and swimmer, but that's not why I admire her. It's because she had a goal, she's worked really hard to achieve that goal, and let's face it, girlfriend is RIPPED! Hokey smokes! I'm not a swimmer, but dang I SOOOOOO want to have a body like that! Ok, done with the girl power/crush now. ;) And guess that means getting to the gym 5 days this week, huh?
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