Saturday, July 11, 2009

Watch your language

I was chatting online with my friend Ramona recently, and one of the fantastic things about her is, not only can I completely be myself, but I always learn something about myself when we talk. Today was no different, only it was better. Online chats are a nice way to keep in touch with people real-time without the long distance charges (or are those a thing of the past, now? LOL!) Chatting is also a great way to edit the things you say before you say them.

As I was typing away about some of the things going on in my life, I realized that I was hiding behind my words. I would start to type things like "Maybe it's because..." or "I think I'm", or "probably it's..."

I was trying to lessen what I was saying to one of my best friends! Why? Because I didn't want to come out and say something to myself let alone someone else. Because I was hiding from myself and some of my feelings.

That's the joy of editing before you hit 'send' - I knew that everything after the doubting words maybe/probably/think/etc was true, so I deleted the what was unnecessary.

A lot of this has come about because I've been facing a lot of challenges in my life we were talking about how much I've been working on becoming/discovering who *I* really am. I've done a lot to challenge and overcome my limiting beliefs - the 'But' factor, if you will - and now I feel like I've hit a sort of a wall. Everything was going along so smooth, I'd hit that sweet spot, and then *wham*.

I'm realizing now that what's really going on is the fact that I have an issue - serious "But's" - that I'm still holding on to, but it needs to be dealt with before I can move on to the next level. Like the doubting words, these are things that I'm hiding behind, keeping me comfortable by keeping me from changing and growing.

At least I know what I'm up against and the rewards that are waiting for me on the other side.

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