Monday, November 2, 2009

Post-sugar binge: Recovery Day 2

Binge: -noun 1. a period or bout, usually brief, of excessive indulgence, as in eating, drinking alcoholic beverages, etc.; spree.
-verb (used without object) 2. to have a binge
Synonyms: 1. bender, blast, jag

I know, it totally brings to mind an image of me strapping on a feedbag of halloween candy, chasing it with a bottle of wine and laying prone in the corner, covered in chocolate.

Ok, so honestly, it wasn't /that/ bad.

And really, candy and alcohol only played a small part in it.

The hubby and I went to a party at a friends on Saturday and had a fantastic time! Hadn't seen these friends in a while, let alone with the hubby, so it was a time to be doubly celebrated.

And celebrate we did! With cookies and cake and pizza and bread and punch and a few sips off my hubby's nummy Pumpkin Ale (seriously, was tasty!)

All sorts of happy carby goodies that make the blood sugar go whee, and whoo, and wuh-oh ::crash::

The next morning I was regretting the celebration worse than if I had downed a whole bottle of ta-kill-ya myself (not that I know what that's like... at all... really. ::whistles innocently:: OK! It was only a couple of shots a looong time ago.)

I wasn't bemoaning the nutritional content perse, just the fact that my happily stable up to that point body was wondering what it had done to deserve such treatment. I've been feeding it tasty veggies, nummy proteiny goodness and the bountiful goodness of whole grains.

It's not to say that I don't enjoy the occasional pizza, cookie or slice of cake - I do! Just not all at one sitting. LOL!

Oof! I seriously had a hangover.

It was beautiful thing!

Sorry, you scratching your head over that one?

It reinforced to me how much food really does effect me, and how I've really switched from food as fun to food as fuel.

Not that food = fuel has to be some bland, tasteless concoction that can't be enjoyed. Trust me, I have seriously good eats every day and enjoy it. The difference is that the tasty is also nutrient rich. It fills my body and soul as well as my belly.

The other stuff... just filled the belly while I was enjoying the company of my friends.

Sunday, we went to a football game in Phoenix, and while I wasn't really hungry that day, I knew I needed to eat. We stopped at a McD's/convenience store on the way to rest and refuel, and I found myself wandering in the snacky/sweets aisle.

What was interesting to me was the internal struggle that was going on the next day. The indulgence lead me to discover the proverbial chink in my armour. It was like continually touching a burner to see if it was still flaming hot - yep, still hot. Yep, still burns me. Yep still hot. Yep, still burns me. Yep... STOP TOUCHING IT! LOL!

I saw some Oreos and the first thought was, "Hmm... oreos... sounds good... UGH OMG NO! NO! NO! NO MORE SUGAR!"

Then the Reeses (cuz it has my 2 favorite food groups: peanut butter & chocolate): "Hmm... Reeses... sounds good... UGH OMG NO! NO! NO! NO MORE SUGAR!"

Then to the slightly healthier but full of additives cheese/meat/cracker snacks: "Hmm... cheesy meat... sounds good... UGH OMG NO! NO! NO! NO MORE junk!!"

I have said before that, one you've really made a life style change, it's great to have a moment/day where you go back to your 'old ways' as a reminder of why you made the change in the first place.

For me, it brought out a weakness that I hadn't been aware of before. I've always known that, when traveling or when I have a major disruption to my routine, I flounder, but still make the best choices I can to keep feeling the best I can. I was really surprised at how quickly the "I'm bored/hungry, get junk food because it's easier" behavior re-emerged after a very long hiatus.

It also reminded me that every divergence from my regular path is an opportunity. I learn something of myself. I test my own boundaries (or have them tested for me). My chosen path is reinforced, or I may recognize that it's time for a change.

No matter what, I come out the other side stronger, and the recovery process is shorter each time.

No comments: