Thursday, December 4, 2008

A question of balance

Ok, so yeah. In case you haven't noticed, my life has been kinda... meh... of late. And it's made me seriously cranky. Contrary to the way it seems, I don't like being cranky. It's not that much fun. Being the happy, annoyingly positive perky one in the bunch, now that's fun.

Thing is, like so many people, I've been dealing with the everyday stressors that have chipped away at my psyche and caused a shift in my focus:

I see problems, instead of possibilities.
I find excuses instead of solutions.
I'm grumpy instead of gracious.
I've been seeing only scarcity instead of abundance.
I've been saying 'I can't' more than 'I can', 'why?' instead of 'why not?!'

Most importantly, I realized that I've been operating from a place of fear, rather than faith.

But, the universe has a way of balancing things out, and then hitting me in the head with a ClueX4 when I don't listen. After my post yesterday, I had a couple things that pretty much knocked me out of my stupor.

First thing was getting a call from my fabulous friend (and yes, you made me smile for the rest of the evening!) It was nice to just talk, but also heard things I needed.

And I had a chat with the hubby who also said things I needed - but didn't really /want/ - to hear. I'm definitely grateful to have people in my life who give me the tough and the love that I need,

Then I read a couple of the Healthy Reflection emails:
"When you are grateful, fear disappears and abundance appears."
"When things go wrong don't go with them."

Then I got a good night's sleep last night.

Ok, fine! I get the message! LOL!!! I'm over it... sorta.

I can't say I'm feeling back to the old me, but I'm feeling better about things in general. I am continually reminding myself to breathe, to have faith that all will work out, and I will make it through all this stronger and better than ever.

I'm not sure if I'm worried or scared at how easy it is to get stuck in the minutia of it all, and get bogged down with all the little stressors that pile on top of each other. It could be a bad thing, or it could be good to be stuck there for a bit, to appreciate the times when you get out of it and soar.

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