Friday Free For All

(that's really just a nice way of saying that I'm about to share the random jumble of things that have been bouncing around my head. ;)

Awesome quote that I had to share... Apply it to everything - money, fitness, health, hearth, home, heart.

"Today is the first day of the rest of your life. So don't dwell on past mistakes, that willl get you nowhere. Instead, focus on what you can and will do today, tomorrow, and the rest of your life, and all of the great things that will happen because of your actions. Get strong, be strong, stay strong. Have a great weekend and come back on Monday ready to tear it up." - Craig Ballentine

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A very special shout out to Miz "Runs with a Tiara/tutu" Fit [ www.MizFitonline.com and www.twofitchicks.org ] Carla Birnberg who is Orlando bound to run in the Disney Princess 1/2 Marathon on Sunday.

I have expressed several times how much I *heart* MisFit. And listening to one of the latest podcasts about her training, I felt like she was was talking to me.

True to her "Unapologetically Myself" creed, she basically admitted not liking the whole process. She's committed to the 1/2 marathon, excited to do it, and super excited for it to be over. In her words, "I'm a Lifter, not a Runner." Then, to paraphrase, added that she will never run a marathon, and she's ok with that.

It's a timely message to me because last night I made the realization that I, too, am not a capital "R" Runner.

Now, before I get a slew of comments about anyone who runs/jogs/gimps along is a runner, lemme say I don't disagree with you. In fact, I do _now_ consider myself a runner (little "r").

Considering I was someone who vowed they would NEVER run unless being chased by Zombies (ok, don't need to run, Zombies are slow ;) or a rabid wild animal (squirrels can be scary, ya know!) it's a biiiig step to say that I am a runner.

In fact, I love to run... once in a while. As part of my overall fitness regimine.

What I'm learning is that I hate to Run. As in the I have to do it because I have a race coming up and need to do x, y and z runs to accomplish that.

I know! As much as I am all about the 'stay focused on your goals and act according to the boundries of those goals', I don't like getting caught up in the have to/must/need to aspect of it rather than just living it.

I'm working my way back to the "just mixin' it up and adding in new workout stuffs to what I normally do" mindset I had for my first 5K so I can get back to livin' it, lovin' it, and rockin' it, rather than dreadin' it.

Which means I may or may not do another competitive run after this. And there's a 99.999% chance I won't ever consider/train for/enter/participate in anything more than 5-10K.

And I'm ok with that.

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Speaking of rockin' it... my pants?

Size 8!

::strikes a SUPAHSTAH pose::

No lonely pants for me today!

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And finally, for the first time in ages I have absolutely no clue what to make for dinner. Thoughts? Suggestions?

Thoughts for Thursday: Body Image (or Rock it!)

First off, I fear a monster has been created... or at least the beginnings of one.

When I sent out the call for help with my shopping aversion, I had no idea what would transpire after that! Not only did I receive a huge out outpouring of love, sympathy and good sense advice, it also inspired me to delve into the scary world that is "fashion"... ok, maybe not fashion, but fabric constructed in ways to decorate my body.

I was happy that I was feeling a little excited about a future shopping trip to make my outsides look good.

What I wasn't prepared for was where it was going to take me mentally and emotionally: I'm learning that my distain for shopping for clothes is a much deeper issue. Much like achieving a healthy weight is about more than exercise and nutrition; clothing, for me, is about much more than fabric, color and fit.

Before I delve into that, there's always a back story... which I'll attempt to keep short. Ish. :)

For the past year+ I've increased my exposure to the world that is body acceptance/fat acceptance/size acceptance/body image improvement/health at any size/yadda yadda yadda.

There's a whole lot to the movement – some of it fantabulous, some of it down right scary – but at the heart of the matter is what I perceive as one basic principle: Love thyself, inside _and_ out.

It's something that's heard a lot about any process of change - if you don't like _yourself_ now when you're at an undesirable weight, in debt, in a cluttered house, single, etc., you won't like yourself when you're at a desirable weight, a clean home, out of debt, married, etc.

I have to admit, there have been times I haven't liked myself very much. Now, I'm pretty happy with myself and can enjoy the company of just me, myself and I.

But this darn clothing thing: It's a thorn in my side.

It wasn't until I admitted that I think that spending money on clothes for myself to look good is frivolous, that I found the root of the problem.

I love my innards... my mind, my heart, my spirit! It's the physical package I was still having trouble with.

This weekend shed a lot of light on how to correct it.

First came from my hubby on Sunday. He prefers I don't wear make up. I prefer /to/ wear make up. We had a discussion of why I felt that I needed it, if I was made perfect than why would I feel like I needed to improve on it, etc. I didn't have an answer other than it makes me feel good when I see myself in the mirror.

Then I had a mini-What Not To Wear marathon that I got more hints, a little more understanding [and a whole lot of 'what were they thinking?!' LOL!] It planted other seeds of ideas and thoughts that were niggling at my brain but I just couldn't quite grasp... They go into a lot of ‘dress the body you have now’, and ‘play up your strengths’, but I kept feeling like they were sidestepping something… or [more likely the case] I was missing something.

Then I listened to a Missus Smarty Pants podcast, hosted by Leslie, sister to the Dinner Diva Leanne Ely, and part of the ever growing resources that’s part of the FlyLady family - that was the water I needed to help those seeds bloom in my brain.

I had downloaded it because it featured Caitlin of Operation Beauitiful fame as a guest and finally *got* it.

Leslie summed up what I've been told over and over again... but was finally ready to hear: (total paraphrasing) Every woman is beautiful! Every woman has features that are stunning and every woman has features _she_ is not so thrilled about. The key is to find the features you love about yourself and play those up, and learn to come to terms with the rest of it.

Caitlin, who is wise beyond her 25 years, added on to that: You gotta rock what ya got from your mamma!

Wowza!

Clothes shopping is so much more than the clothes themselves. It's about learning to really LOOK at my body, learn to love it and all it's perfect imperfections and find what I do have to rock, while covering the rest. My whole body is a reflection of the goodness in the world and my heart. Time to remember and remind myself of it regularly.

Just like I’ve learned and accepted that I can’t eat whatever I want, and that there’s certain foods that just don’t work for my body, I need to learn and accept what I can and can’t wear. It’s a process that I have to go through. It may be a long process or I may get lucky.

Two things I’m looking forward to with this process:

1) Getting an idea of what size my body _really_ is. I’m not talking the arbitrary number on the label, I’m talking the actual physical space my body occupies (or doesn’t occupy as the case may be)… I have a certain concept of my shape and size that’s stuck about 20-30# back, and it’s time to have my mental image catch up with my actual body.

2) Learning to accept that it's ok to rock what I've got, that I deserve to rock what I've got, and that it's ok to do something "selfish" and "frivolous" for _me_.

To answer the make up question – It’s my one way that I have actually embraced the ‘rockin’ what I’ve got’ concept. My eyes have always been what I feel is my strongest feature and while I don’t do the super duper drama eye makeup, I do like to have them featured as part of a polished looking face. That’s one thing that I can feel confident with my abilities, and I prefer to see my face with even skin tone and a little make up to highlight those features. Time to move that to the rest of my body, eh? :)

What about the rest of you – what are your strong features? What do you find really beautiful about your physical self? Where are you in your body acceptance journey?

Friday Follies, follow-up, and fill in the blank

This week has been full of a lot of stuff and a lot of nothing. Life is nothing if not a series of learning experiences.




This week I'm learning that spending a day standing on a concrete floor in a freezing stadium wears me out a lot more than I would expect. I've made it to the gym twice this week, and both workouts left me feeling more 'meh' than I would have liked. And the one day on my feet left my body a wreck. I'm sooo happy I have a patient and able chiropractor who's willing to put my hubby & I back together again when we're silly.




I've also learned that taking an active 'easy week' is me still being active - it needs to be a week of extra rest days instead... Last week I tried to dial it down a few notches in intensity... apparently not enough.




This week I'm also starting to get more of a grip on what the heck I'm really doing in terms of my health/fitness goals and subsequently my life... because you do realize that your health and fitness are _part_ of your life, right? And you do realize that YOU are responsible for your actions.




This 'epiphany' hit me as I was looking at a recipe for a super nummy looking cake/cup cake recipe. I was toying with making it - it is, after all Valentine's weekend and Mardi Gras is coming up too... but I kept coming back to: Why? There's been pie and brownies already the last 2 weeks, do I need to add that to the mix?




No. No I don't.




It comes down to this: am I really committed to living a 90-95% healthy, sustainable lifestyle that enjoys a treat on /special/ occasion?




If I am, then I need to acknowledge that a weekend doesn't qualify as a special occasion.




It's not that the cupcakes are OMG so evil and other things we say to demonize food to try to avoid it. It's that right now, it's not going to do anything to help me get to where I want to go. It's not that I don't trust myself in the presence of baked goods. It's not that I've been deprived of 'treats', I haven't stuck /so/ close to my eating plan for any length of time that I feel I am entitled to it. It boiled down to the fact that it was the weekend, I wanted to do something that I don't have time during the week to do... and it sounded good.




And that's not good enough of a reason for me to do it right now.




Doing laundry, getting stuff together for a trip to good will, and cleaning the cat boxes - THAT is a better way to spend my time.




As for an exciting follow-up announcement: I bought a new pair of jeans!!! Ok, I ordered them, but still, it's a baby step in the right direction.




After my hubby pointed out that every pair of pants I own is hanging off me and exceeds my own rule (of being able to take them off without undoing them)... and HIS pants meet the same criteria [I put on a pair of his jeans inadvertently... they were on my side of the closet!] And 90% of my tops are way too big as well. It Was Time.




I decided to take the plunge and ordered a pair of jeans from the myshape.com site.




This wasn't an easy decision, but I was getting the ClueX4 to the head and it was time to make that stop. See, it's not that I don't love or accept myself. It's not that I don't have the money (ok, I don't really, but I have some, so it takes away a bit of the excuse). It's not that I don't have the time or resources [aka stores].




It's that I think it's frivolous to spend money on clothes for me to decorate my body in a flattering way.




There, I said it.




This realization came after watching an episode of What Not To Wear (See, I listened to my peeps! I am trying to become a good student! :) One of the ladies was very proud of the fact that she never spent more than $20 on a piece of clothing in her closet... and most were under $10.




It showed. Low quality material, bad fit, not so flattering colors/styles, etc. Even *I* could see that... but then I looked at my own closet. I've spent a bit more on my clothes, but really, I hate to part with money for clothes. And having made clothes, I can recognize shoddy construction... but that happens when you look for clothes at Target instead of Nordstroms.




Yeah, so it was time for me to put those Big Girl Panties on and spend some quality cash on quality clothes. I wear the heck out of clothes, so I need something to stand up to that kind of abuse.




So I just spent ::gulp:: $55 on a pair of jeans.




In reality, if I am able to wear these jeans for the next year, it will be money well spent. More than that it will be double bonus!




I am also looking for a person to do alterations on my dress pants. I've only had those 3 months and don't want to buy a new pair. That way I have money to buy a few new tops to last me a little longer.




One "Ah-ha" moment I had was while watching WNTW... they gave the ladies poloroids of the outfits to refer to... I had the /brilliant/ idea to print off a few of the suggested outfits from MyShape, and use that as 'inspiration' of what to look for. That way it's less aimless wandering, it's more 'search and destroy'. LOL!




One other thing that I've been putting off - I finally registered for the Race for the Cure 5K! YAY!!! I am not seeking out donations, but if you are so inclined, I will post a link to my page when I can.




I have also set up a team: Fights Like A Girl if you would like to join in the fun... I love that they have a 'sleep in' option for the race - pay the fee, but don't have to do it. ;)




To add to the excitement, while I'm generally an antisocial/solitary exerciser, I got a notice that they're starting a training group in a couple of weeks that seems like a great idea to meet new people and pump up my endurance a little in the process.




Finally, the Fill-in-the blank section... of the different themes swirling around me this week, this one has stuck out. You know the rules (no wrong answer, keep it clean, answer as many times as you like)...




Fill in this blank:




Healthy is _____________