I ate *what*?!

This one just cracked me up, especially since this week has had lunch out not once, but twice! Monday was at Macaroni Grill and today we went to Claim Jumper. MG has their nutritional info listed on their site, but after looking at it, I wish they hadn't. There's some stuff that you want to delude yourself into thinking that it's healthy (it's got chicken and veggies! that's healthy, right?! ::ignores the words "smothered" and "cream sauce"::) And then there's info like this that makes you doubt even the reassurances by the restaurant: elasticwaist.com/2008/07/how-
many-calories-are-realllll.php (note the reference to MG's not-so-skinny-Skinny Chicken.)

Then you go somewhere like Claim Jumper that goes straight to the "you don't want to know" attitude towards the calorie/fat/sodium content of it's food. Considering all the food (including dessert!) comes on a plate bigger than your head, you can pretty much figure that what's on it is more than you should consume for the day... or the week. And I'm ok with that. I don't go out to eat very much any more, so it's a nice treat, and it's straight forward in my book, no hiding behind the 'healthy' curtain... until today. They revamped their menu and have a section called 'sensible fare' or some such nonsense. This has items that are 'less than 650 calories' which, after reading the above, I doubt, not to mention it's still more than one /should/ consume at one sitting.

Maybe I'm just bitter because I had my heart set on having the Boca Burger and they were out. I settled on the quiche which, oddly, seemed to mess with my blood sugar. ::shrug:: but the salad was yummy so all is good and right with the world. :)

Technorati : food, sparkpeople, thoughts

Happiness is a warm rice bag

Ok, a bag filled with dry rice and heated up... very much helping the sides and back feel better. Took me forever to remember that I had it but makes life better. :)

Still feeling a bit off and not sure why. ::eyes noisy co-worker who's hacking up a lung:: Hopefully it's not catchy. Either way a hot bath and yoga are in the stars for me tonight. :)

Technorati : sparkpeople, update

Whiny Wednesday

Yeah, usually it's Cranky Wednesday, which it is by default, but feeling more whiney than anything.

I'm sore from the weights yesterday - but it's actually the 'good' sore because 1) I can function and 2) I'm feeling musckles that I obviously haven't used in years, but bad because I felt it every time I rolled over or moved last night and the alleve/ibuprophen I've taken has barely taken the edge off.

Then I barely got any sleep last night because my kitten who hardly ever ventures upstairs (the other kittens are bullies and chase him off) got very brave and was VERY needy last night and was either walking, mooshing, or flopping on me for the better part of the night. And then the Wacky Bobo(tm) dreams when I /did/ sleep didn't help at all.

Oh yeah, and have a headache from all the funky pressure systems/rain storms we've got going on.

Needless to say, I finally woke up enough to realize that my alarm had been going off for 10 minutes, there was no prying me from the bed. It's been a while since that's happened. And no where in the foggy brained thought process did I think, "the soreness will go away if you get up and move." Heh, I think my body was scared that I'd make it do another 40 min HIIT workout and rebelled. Oh well, the gym shall just have to pine for me till I get there tomorrow. :) Till then, I think some serious stretching will be in order tonight - in between foldling laundry, unloading & loading the dishwasher, and cleaning up the living room a bit. ::flop::

Technorati : Exercise, health, motivation, sparkpeople, update, weight

Learning curve

Life is constantly about learning limits, pushing them, working with them and avoiding them. The last couple of weeks I've been trying to figure out my physical ones and it's sort of frustrating but interesting at the same time.

Food:
I'm working on really sticking to my macronutrient ratios and so far so good... Not sure if it's really helping anything anywhere because its the first week or so that I'm proactively doing this. Although I'm learning that 1) if I keep my calories around 2,000-ish, I feel and do better through the day and 2) it's actually difficult some days to get to even 1,800 calories. It's weird, but an interesting challenge to figure out how to add in some extra food without greatly increasing the amount of fat, cuz my first instinct/desire is to go for the peanut butter. nummmy peanut buttery goodness. :) It's been nice that I've sort of streamlined my grocery list so while I don't have as much stuff in the fridge/freezer, I have what I eat regularly and enough variety to keep me from getting totally bored.

Exercise:
Doing fabu with it and being very consistent, but learning that less is probably more. Last week and this week, I'm attempting to a do the 40 minute interval program. I say attempting because while I'm able to get through it, it totally kicks my a$$ for the rest of the day.

Yesterday was awesome because I broke the 400 calories/workout barrier (my own personal thing - not sure why it was a big deal but I'd get close several times but not go over.) Well the problem is that I totally paid for it - couldn't get enough to eat, felt a bit wobbly and weak the rest of the day and had a headache. So... it's a question of do I push myself to build the endurance, or do I cut back so I don't burn myself out? I'm leaning towards the latter, especially since my knee has been a bit tweaky the last couple of days, to the point where i had to switch from the treadmill to the elliptical this morning. I know I'm overdue for new shoes, but it's still a bit worrisome and don't want to risk really hurting myself.

I'm also concentrating on adding in strength training a couple of times a week, but being careful to stop just short of the fatigue/exhaustion level because I know that I will be totally miserable of I don't. There's the good sore and there's the 'body filled with lead and can't function for 3 days' sore. I did the little workout generator and today I ventured into the 'Cage'... you know, that sectioned off area where the big huge buff guys do the grunty, clangy weigh lifting? Yeah, that was me in there with my baby 8# weights. Go me! So in addition to cutting back on the time I spend doing cardio, I'm hoping the weight training will help speed up/restart the fat loss... which leads me to...

Weight:
This is probably the most frustrating part of it all. It's up, its down. I'm bloaty, I'm svelte. Pants are loose, top is tight. Top is loose, pants are tight.

::flop::

The body fat % hasn't really changed much which is good on one level - gaining musckles instead of losing it. But frustrating because the darn calipers are difficult enough to read, and when there's only a slight change I'm not sure if it's me or if it's the way I measured.

I'd switched from daily weighing to weekly then monthly. I joined my Firecracker challenge and went back to weekly then daily weighing and started the anxiety/frustration again. I'm glad to be part of the challenge but will be glad to go back to monthly weighing and, by default, doing BF measurement. And hopefully there will a significant enough change that it'll be easier to figure out the measurement. It's the theory, anyway. :)

It's all about learning what works to get the desired result, but also keeping up with my body when it decides to change what works. Silly body. :P

Technorati : Exercise, food, goals, health, motivation, sparkpeople, thoughts, update

I should know better

Knowing my inner brats is kind of fun, and occasionally they make sense. But I'm old enough to know that, when it comes down to it, their ideas are more self-serving than selfless, and yet there's times when I give in. And more often than not, I regret it.

This morning was one of those times.

I've been feeling a bit more run down than usual, and I think it's the whole change of season cold/sinus thingy showing up. I've got the low grade fever, headache, scratchy throat, stuffy head, achiness going on. Started taking my super vitamins last night and attempted to go to bed early but that didn't happen. Was restless all night and when my alarm went off at 5:30, Veruca & Stevie went into full whiny mode. While I agree that skipping the workout (especially since it was gonna be the heavy duty HIIT one) was a good idea - don't want to wear my system down any more than it already is right now - the falling back asleep was not. I don't know why I can't remember that. I usually feel decent enough when I first wake up, but if I go back to sleep for more than 5-10 minutes, I feel worse. It's like my body is fine with the initial shock, but if I don't take advantage, it rebels. Blah.

Lesson learned - regardless if I'm not going to the gym, get up, enjoy the sunrise or something, but don't go back to sleep unless it's going to be for 4 more hours!

So here I am feeling icky and in need of a nap, but not enough to rationalize being home. Meh.

Worst thing - I have a dentist appointment this afternoon. I usually have no problems with going to the dentist - I was lucky growing up to have a really nice one, and my current one is about the same. But right now money is extra tight and I swear they like to invent stuff that I need done... hello! of course my gums are bleeding! you're using the floss like a mafia hitman would use piano wire! And since I'm already extra sore, I have a feeling it's going to be even more uncomfortable. But alas, too late to change the appointment without incurring a 'late cancel' fee. Grrr...

::breathing:: Why is it so much harder to deal with the little things when you're not feeling that well?

Technorati : Exercise, health, life, motivation, sparkpeople

Better!

Friday's Supah-stah! feeling didn't last (and no, T, I didn't sniff my pits! LOL!!!) and I'm blaming it on a visit from heck from AF. Yesterday I was having the lowest of low energy. I finally figured out it was partly a low iron thing, and basically my body was dealing with the usually rough start of her visit... I was worried that I was getting sick, but feeling _way_ better today. Not 100%, but good enough to do a short pilates routine when I got up.




I think I was also feeling very overwhelmed yesterday - I realized that my social life has gone from fairly active to pretty quiet. Well, yesterday that was blown out of the water to the point of having too many choices and not being able to deal with it because I wasn't feeling that great to begin with. It also brought up an interesting feeling:




'Dieting' makes me antisocial.




I mean, when your finally in a groove and have great routine of what and when you're eating, the prospect of having a major disruption to that is very daunting. I finally realized that some of it could be addressed by bringing food along (I got a spiffy little cooler just for things like that - short trips, day events, etc.) but wasn't quite prepared for yesterday. I was starting to feel resentful of the activities and invitations, to the point where I had the passing thought of "I love my friends but feel like I need ones that are sharing my same interests right now." Then I realized how fracked that whole thought process was. Here I had an opportunity to spend with my friends and I was feeling resentful because they want me to do things?! Yeah... needing to address that. I don't think I've got it completely resolved, but I'm working on it.




When I'm making progress, the last thing I want to do is stop or go backwards. On the other hand, if I'm to truly create a sustainable lifestyle, me living in my sheltered, tiny piece of reality is really not living. I've realized, too, that I've been avoiding pursuing other interests (ie my artsy stuff, sewing, and getting involved in a home based business my DH and I started before we got married). I couldn't figure out why I was avoiding it like the plague, because I had bits of time here and there to devote... then it hit me: I was worried that it'd distract me or split my focus. For right this moment, I don't want that. But I also know that it's making me very one dimentional, which can lead to me getting very bored very quick.




So over the next couple of months I am going to continue my focus on my health and fitness, but learn reincorporate the other elements in my life that I enjoy. I acknowledge and accept the fear that I'm feeling, but will do it anyway.

Friday!!!

You know those annoying people who come into work that are bouncy and happy and act like they've mainlined espresso to have energy coming out their ears?

Yeah, that's me today. Supah-stah!

Not sure whats up, and I'm thinking I just pi$$ed off the DH because of it, but not gonna question it. I am, however, going to work on dialing it down a notch so I don't crash and burn later on.

Technorati : motivation, sparkpeople

Cranky Wednesday Carryover

"One of the keys to true happiness is staying positive in the face of
challenging situations."

Isn't that the truth!?! And today I really, really needed to be reminded of it.

Had a stressy night last night - had a HUGE storm roll through w/60 mph winds, hail, tons of rain that flooded the street in front of the house (no surprise there), and caused several downed power lines in the city - including some by my house and had a power outage from 8:30-ish to 4:30 this morning. I ran around like a mad woman with a flashlight checking the doors and windows for leaks, praying that the sealant around the skylights would continue to hold, and that the hail wouldn't be too big and damage said skylights. The damage on the way into work looks like a tornado tore down the street - Huge tree's down, stuff all over the road, major mess.

Finally settled down enough around 10 to get to sleep but was uncomfortable because of not having A/C or a fan, and had the kitten pile on me (/they/ were fine, just worried about /me/... that's their story anyway.)

The result, on top of the hormonal flux, is me still feeling cranky, tired, and aggrivated. Did pilates this morning because I just couldn't deal with going to the gym and am feeling it in my abs. But I'm trying to stay positive and keep reminding myself to be grateful for what I have in my life. And one thing I'm grateful for is not having to pay for 6 hours of electricty last night! :P

Technorati : Exercise, goals, life, sparkpeople, thoughts

Dear Aunt Flo

We need to talk.

It's only because your family, and the only Aunt that comes to visit regularly, that I feel I need to bring this up. It's very kind of you to want to see me so often, really, but all this other other crap that comes with your visit has got to stop.

First you sneak in a few days early, mess with my body, like you're injecting it with extra fluid and slowing all systems way down. Then you sneak in my closet and take in all the pants a couple of inches to make them extra tight. Not to mention messing with scales, making them all weigh at least 3-5 pounds heavier o-v-e-r-n-i-g-h-t! After that you some how manage to set all the craving levels for sugary, fatty, fried, calorie laden food to 11 and make the foods themselves seem more obvious - I swear that scone in the fridge wasn't bigger than the jug of milk yesterday! And the chocolate bar that's in the freezer: STOP making it fall on me every time I open the door for ice!

After you finish will all that, you hide for a bit and I'm left feeling super irritable, ready to rip anyone's head off that looks at me.

When you finally arrive for your visit, I'm so wiped out I can barely put up a fuss when you hand me your 'gift' and then proceed to use my belly as a trampoline.

This. Has. Got. To. Stop.

I don't know how much longer I can put up with things the way they are. I don't want to strain our relationship but something needs to change. I've done my part (yeah, all the things in the 'Beat PMS' article? Total crap. Doing it and then some, still not really helping) now it's time for you to start toeing the line before I decide to take drastic measures.

I know we can work together on this to make for an amicable relationship.

Sincerely,

LadyRose

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

And as a total side note, Dana Torres is totally my hero! Yes, she's been put in the spotlight and is very controversial (for other people, IMO - she's done the work, people, it /is/ possible for a /woman/ over the age of 20 to achieve new levels of fitness... hello... Germany has a kick a$$ gymnast who's 33 for cripe's sake, who's doing as well or better than when she was 20. No one's giving her cr@p! grr). Yes she's a kick butt athlete and swimmer, but that's not why I admire her. It's because she had a goal, she's worked really hard to achieve that goal, and let's face it, girlfriend is RIPPED! Hokey smokes! I'm not a swimmer, but dang I SOOOOOO want to have a body like that! Ok, done with the girl power/crush now. ;) And guess that means getting to the gym 5 days this week, huh?

Technorati : Exercise, girlie bits, health, motivation, sparkpeople, weight

No New Fat!

This weekend was a cleaning weekend - helping out a friend get her house to a semi-reasonable state and then doing some things at my house that needed to be done - I hates the mopping! Hates it! Just so ya know.

While I was at my friend's house, we got to talking (like we do) about habits, about home organization/cleaning, about weight, about money, etc... all the things that we grapple with on a day to day basis but they can seem soooo overwhelming if we lose that tenuous grip we have on them, but if we are able to just maintain, sometimes it means we're ahead of the game.

While I was doing things around my house, semi-beating myself up for giving in to the french fry craving [although the tummy issues it caused did a good job of beating me up instead] I had an idea to get past the overwhelming, but just work on maintaining: Nothing new!

When you read any book on managing your money and getting out of debt, one of the first rules is generally: No new debt. In order to get ahead, don't dig yourself in deeper by incurring more debt. Yes, you may have a HUGE amount of debt, but that's really intimidating to think of ever being able to pay it off. It's a lot easier to deal with not spending /more/ money.

So thought to myself: self, why not apply that thinking and practice to other areas?

No New Debt: Money's been tight since the wedding and we've also been changing banks around so what money we have is in flux between this account and that one. This weekend it was really, really tempting to use my credit card to buy gas (Veruca so kindly pointed out: Cash back rewards, baby!) But I decided that I didn't need to drive to the store that's 5 miles away, when there's the same store 2 miles away. Yes I should have ridden my bike but hello... it's August! In Tucson! And I was doing a big grocery trip. One deposit finally cleared today and I now am the proud owner of a full tank of gas, without resorting to the credit trap.

Along the same lines:

No Less Savings: I have an Emergency Fund that I'm working to rebuild after using a lot of it for not-so-emergent situations... yes it helped us do the wedding 80% debt free [paying off the honeymoon, see above], but it also depleted a huge chunk of the savings. Little by little I'm rebuilding it and it needs to stay in the account unless there's a true emergency.

For my weight/health:

No New Fat: While it's better to lose than gain, it's also better to maintain then gain. I realized that in the last month since I've been tracking my body fat, I've gotten rid of 1.4% body fat! That totally kicks butt! My weight /can/ go up, but not because of adding body fat. My lean body mass can increase, that's fine. The body fat can stay as is, or go away. That means I do my part maintaining my exercise and nutrition levels to help my body follow this rule by not going stoopid crazy with eating, allowing myself the occasional indulgence, but overall, remember my goal of getting to 160 by my birthday (although, admittedly, I'd be good with being down 5% body fat!). I have 9 weeks, and a little less than 2# a week of body fat to get there.

For the house:

No New Messes: While I'm still working with the cats to get on board with this one, I need to not create any new messes in the house by cleaning up after myself. There may be dishes in the sink, but as long as I regularly clean them out, it'll be fine. There may be a pile of mail, but if I take care of the new stuff that comes in, it won't make that pile any bigger.

I may not make progress very quickly this way, but I won't be adding anything new. And by building up the habits of maintaining, I can eventually add on habits and steps to make actual progress.

Technorati : food, goals, health, motivation, sparkpeople, thoughts, weight

Lessons learned

The lessons I've learned this week, at least health/fitness wise can be summed up thusly: Location & timing.

The location is mostly a gym thing. Turns out there's a lot to choosing the right machine, and where it's located in the grand scheme of things is going to be a big indicator of the quality of my workout.

I 'enjoy' (using the term loosely, and also figures into the timing lessons I learned) working out in the morning and while I, and apparently my HRM, like using the machines to the right of the building when you first walk in, rather than those to the left, it also means getting full blast of the sunrise. It's ok for the first part of session, but about midway through it's hard to keep they eyes open and see the display. And no matter how thick the window, or supposedly tinted they are, it's August. In Tucson. It gets hot as soon as the sun comes up. Yeah... So this morning I decided that I would go to the left side and use a machine. Turns out most of the elliptical's squeak. A lot. The one I settled on wasn't horribly loud, and wasn't too close to the edge where everyone walks (it's very disconcerting for me to be focused on the music and not keeling over from exertion and having people walking around you.)

Well, it turns out that this machine is also in the evil vortex of doom for my HRM. I'm thinking that it's a crossfire zone for several of the TV transmitters and makes the HRM go wonky (not to mention the leftover electrical ozone issues from the major storms we've been having.) I was huffing and puffing - and I think a house got blown down, not sure - at an incline of 12 and resistance level of 6, but my HRM read that I only had 130 beats per minute... uh, no, don't think so. Sweat is streaming down my face, I'm working harder than that. So I hold the watch part next to the monitor itself and eventually it catches up to my 155 beats... whee. Then it gets stuck there for a while during the cool down part. It's really difficult to monitor my heart rate when I have to have the two pieces right next to each other, ya know!? And the machine itself was having an equally difficult time - going from 110-215 in a matter of seconds. erg.

I had problems with the machines in the middle, too... wonky crossfire of radio signals. I guess that means that I need to stick to my trusty machines on the perimeters, because it's true: Location is everything!

As far as timing, there's several lessons that made themselves apparent this week. First was the whole "when to go" fiasco on Wednesday. I went in the afternoon as planned and remembered why I dislike that time of day. Yes, I'm more awake and have a bit better endurance in the afternoon, but I'm also tired, just wanna go home and veg, don't want to deal with people, and since I did my HIIT workout, I didn't have a lot of recovery time between it, and the Thurs. workout, meaning my legs were saying a few choice words that morning. It tends to have a trickle down effect so if I exercise last one day, I should take the next one off or move that one to later in the day and so on. So, lesson learned: mornings are best for me to exercise.

In the same vein, I've learned that mornings aren't the best time to make decisions. Like food - you won't make the best choices of what to have for lunch when you're half asleep. I got stuff ready for today last night and recorded 75% of my food at the same time. Very handy for knowing where I was by the time dinner is going to roll around. Not to mention it minimizes temptation from fresh bagels and yummy fruity cream cheese offered by co-workers. For some reason my brain went "nope, you've already had aaaalll this food". Doesn't matter if it was just on my tracker and not in my belly at the time.

Same with the whole exercise thing - best to decide the night before if you are or aren't going to do it, not when the alarm goes off. It /never/ sounds like a good idea at 5:30 am. At least not to me. But the decision was made the day/week/month before, so I had to follow through. Besides tomorrow is sleep in day - I gotta earn it! :)

The last one is based on my rebellion from all things advice oriented about what to/not to eat and when to eat/not eat it. I get the eating several small meals instead of 3 big ones, I get the eating protein at every 'meal', I get the not eating a couple of hours before bed, yadda yadda... but aside from that, who cares what I eat when!? Well, apparently the whole 'not eating lots of carbs late in the day/evening' _isn't_ the load of hooey I thought it was. If they'd said, "Eating lots-o-carbs at night will leave you lethargic, bloaty and cranky that night and in the morning" maybe, just maybe I would have listened. Instead I had to learn it the hard way. Had my whole wheat pasta, all measured out, had a bit of foccacia to mop up any sauce that got away, had ground pork in the sauce for my protein, and a nice salad on the side. Thought I was good. Nope. It sat like a rock in my tummy, then this morning, with the other issues, made for a slow going workout.

Technorati : food, health, motivation, sparkpeople, weight

What I want to be when I grow up...

At the gym last night [total side note: now I remember why I dislike going to the gym in the evenings - it's difficult enough to get motivated in the morning, but by 3/4/5:00 I'm pooped. Besides, there's so many... people! LOL! but after the snippiness with the hubby, I knew if I didn't go, I'd catch heck for it.] I saw a sign offering a special rate for 5 personal training sessions. My first thought was, "not just no, but He$$ no!" I thought about my experience a couple of years ago when I got a personal trainer and it not only about killed me - ok, small exaggeration - but it also turned me off from the whole idea of it. When I'd watch the Biggest Loser, I'd cringe anytime they were pushed and pushed and yelled at and pushed because I really don't respond well to that overall.

For me, when I was working with the personal trainer, I was in the midst of a whole slew of health problems - my thyroid was still out of whack, my chronic/adrenal fatigue was really bad (although I didn't know it) and my diet was pretty far from clean - partly healthy, yes, but definitely not wholesome. I was also splitting the sessions with my friend who has way more endurance and was more fit than I was at the time... she probably still is, but not the point right now. So I was expected to keep up with her in terms of reps, and was pushed past the point of exhaustion because I was supposed to "Challenge" myself. Thing that I didn't realize was that by doing so, I would literally exhaust any and all energy reserves my body had and then took me about 2 weeks to recover. I tried to explain the physiological aspect of hypothyroid/fibromyalgia to the trainer, but I'm pretty sure all he heard was, "blah, blah, blah, whine, whine, whine." I told my friend that she could have the last 2-3 sessions for herself and walked away from the money I spent on it.

::breathing::

After a bit of looking at the poster (I was right behind it for 1/2 an hour... whatcha gonna do? :) I realized that it didn't have to be that way. At the time it was, "I guess it'd be good to do this but not sure what I want out of it." Now I have a better idea of what my goals are, what my limitations are and how to work with/around them, what I am willing/not willing to do, and what I want to be as I go through this journey. One of those things is to grow (emotionally) anyway, into a person that isn't afraid to walk into that scary area of the gym... the one that has a 'cage' around it and mostly free weights and weird machines and only seems to be occupied by the muscle-y guys. I want to be one of those people, or at least be comfortable in that arena. I want to increase my lean body mass by 5% and drop my body fat by 5% or more by the end of the year.

I don't know if I'm ready to work with a personal trainer right now, but it's good to know that, if that time (and more money) comes, I will have a purpose instead of just going through the motions.

Technorati : health, life, motivation, sparkpeople, thoughts, weight

I can't get no... Satis...Fact...shun!

Hee hee... yeah, in a slightly goofyish mood. It's what happens when you start your week on Tuesday instead of Monday - it puts everything into a different perspective. Either way, today is my Monday and got back on the eating and exercise track after taking a serious break from it this weekend.

What's continually interesting to me is the whole disruption to the routine - used to not matter much, but now that I'm eating better and moving more, I really feel it, and the indulgences aren't as... appealing.

Sunday was the biggest example of this. I did fairly well food wise on Saturday - didn't log anything but in general felt good - Then Sunday my hubby (S!!) and I had a very low key, indulgent day day together which started with sleeping in late, having scones for breakfast, and then ended up having pizza, breadsticks and beer all afternoon while we played a game on the evil PS2 (Not sure if I'm proud or ashamed that we made it through 6 levels to finish the game that day.) By the end of it, I was tired, sore, bloated but still... hungry (Not to mention my shoulders & thumbs hurting! LOL!). It used to be I'd have a few pieces of pizza and was stuffed. I was still stuffed, but not in that 'i've been nourished and am satisfied' way. Even though I've really only been focused on eating several small, balanced meals for a few weeks, my system is really happy with it and didn't like the change.

Yesterday I really got the point. I took the day off and we did an errand in the morning. I ended up not eating my first meal until 11, and then around 3 I was completely wiped out. I realized I hadn't eaten since 11 and as soon as I had something decent to eat, I felt a ton better. I planned my next 'meal' for a few hours and ended the day with salad, veggies and grilled chicken.

While I don't feel 100%, I feel a lot better than I did yesterday, which helped motivate me to get up for a walk this morning, and tomorrow it's back to the gym.

So this little diversion into indulgence was fun, and I know there will be _occasional_ side trips there, I know now that it's not a place that I want to hang out in for very long. In fact, I was thinking about the holidays this morning on my walk - was listening to an old radio show from Nov/Dec. In particular, I was thinking about how the habits I'm creating now will help keep me from giving in /too/ much to the goodies that abound the last few months of the year. While I'm a procrastinator by heart, some things are best to plan waaaaayyy ahead for.

Technorati : health, motivation, orion, sparkpeople, thoughts, weight

Technical Difficulties

My dad was a pilot for a while. He got his small aircraft license and during the process I got to learn a bit about the operation of a plane. One of the concepts that intrigued and confused me is "Always trust your instruments." Ok, I understand when you're in clouds and you can't tell up from down, you need to rely on your instrument panel to tell you if you're level, altitude, etc. But what if you see ground below, sky above, and your instruments tell you you're flying sideways?! Which one do you rely on?

Basically, I'm in the latter situation and my instruments are all telling me something different.

Scale: says I gained (sorry Bombshells). Ok, this can be attributed to 1) less exercise this week, 2) hormonal issues, 3) not watching what I eat. 1 & 3 are easily modified, and 2, well, it'll pass and then return, then passs, then return, so I'm not even gonna worry about it.

Callipers: say I lost body fat. Whoo hoo! but huh?! Can be attributed to me still trying to figure out how to do it and get consistent, but then again, it was only a smidge different than the last time I did it.

Tape Measure: Says I've gained 2 inches or lost 1. Who knows. It depends on if I'm standing tall/better posture, or not.

Clothes: I'm wearing a shirt that I've never been able to wear buttoned before... before today anyway. There's a /little/ bit of pulling at some buttons when I sit, but otherwise, it fits great.

So I guess this week is a wash in general that I learn and move on from?! Dunno.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Super special bonus: A rant about "complements"!

I read this entry in one of my fave blogs and got it but didn't really: http://www.pastaqueen.com/halfofme/archives/2008/07/leave_them_gasp.html

Then this last week I've gotten several "complements" - you know the sort of "Wow! Have you lost weight/How much have you lost/You've lost weight and look great!" On the surface, it's really nice to have people - especially those you see every day - notice the changes going on. At the same time, I have an urge to be really sarcastic (big shock coming from me, I know!). I've had to engage the brain/mouth filter to catch myself from saying, "I've just been sitting on my bum eating bon bons... no idea how I could have lost any weight." Or wearing a sign that says, "Big physical changes in progress. Hold comments till the end." I have responded to some folks, "I better be looking good, I'm workin' my tail off!" or some such thing, but that's dependant on how well I know them. I realize people in general mean well and want to acknowledge and encourage the positive changes you're making. At the same time, no one is going to say, "Holy mackeral you got HUGE!!!" Granted there are some who would, but overall, no.

So is it just me? I try to say 'thank you' and move on, but it's also a little annoying.

Technorati : health, orion, sparkpeople, thoughts, weight